


Pale Skin and Onyx Eyes

by ShipsandSaints



Series: Pale Skin and Onyx Eyes [1]
Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Empire of Storms Spoilers, F/M, Magic, Romance, Throne of Glass, War, empire of storms, fae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 20:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9674285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipsandSaints/pseuds/ShipsandSaints
Summary: Set after Empire of Storms (EoS), Elide Lochan and Lorcan Salvaterre are traveling with Rowan and Gavriel in search of Queen Aelin. Will Elide ever be able to forgive Lorcan for betraying her and her Queen? Where will they go next? [Elide x Lorcan] [Work In Progress] [M for Language/Sexual Content]





	1. Part I: The Search

**Author's Note:**

> **Part I: The Search** \- Chapters 1-8  
>  **Part II: The Journey** \- Chapters 9 - 15  
>  **Part III: The Mission** \- Chapters 16 - ???
> 
>  **A/N** : Hello all :) I'm happy that you stumbled across my story and wanted to tell you a little bit about this fic. I read the entire Throne of Glass series recently over my past winter break 2016. Achingly loved Lorcan and Elide so much that I wished there was more about them in Sarah Maas's latest book, Empire of Storms (EoS). This is set after EOS and ~~will be around ~15 chapters long~~ who knows how long it'll be?!? I first published this fic on fanfiction.net so I published all the chapters I've written at once on AO3 (up to chapter 8). I'm a super busy student so I don't have much free time in general, but I love this story so I work on it whenever I can. Please subscribe to get notified about new chapters! I really appreciate getting comments and notes, and it motivates me to write and release chapters faster, so please leave a comment if you enjoyed :) Hope you love Lorcan and Elide as much as I do~
> 
> p.s. my tumblr is ships-and-saints (previously oyasumi-wyrds)
> 
> ~Katnip

**Lorcan**

Lorcan was surprised at how much it had hurt after Elide ignored him and sidestepped him for the witch Asterin, back when they were on the shores of the Stone Marshes. And then she had barely spoken to him after he, Gavriel, and Rowan traveled in search of Aelin Galathynius. He knew he deserved it, knew he deserved it when she cursed him with her hateful words, and then he had been stripped of his blood oath without honor. Did she hate him? He shuddered at the thought. He had only meant to  _protect_ Elide, and yet Maeve had used her like a pawn against the weakened fire–queen, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. Lorcan shook his head to try and clear his thoughts.

It had only been a few days since they had left in search of Aelin. Rowan was determined to find her, but with each passing day he grew more and more tense… And the hollow look in his eyes appeared more often. The closest Lorcan had come to experiencing Rowan's pain was when he saw Queen Maeve standing with Elide, who was being held by a Fae warrior with a knife to her slim throat. His heart had stopped, and he bit back the immediate urge to attack his Queen, the sovereign he had still been sworn to.

And now… He knew he no longer loved her, not anymore, not since Maeve threatened to have Elide whipped by Cairn and then made Elide watch as Cairn whipped the tattered queen. Not after Maeve commanded him to be still and silent. And  _then_  stripped him of his blood oath without honor. Lorcan swore under his breath, his face darkening. He splashed cold water onto his face and shook the droplets off.

Lorcan and Elide were currently resting at an inn in a small town on their way to Wendlyn, the continent west of Erilea. Along with Rowan and Gavriel, they had all thoroughly discussed all of the places Maeve could take Aelin. Rowan and Gavriel were out in their shifted forms, desperately searching for whispers in the wind, for any hint or sign of Maeve or where her boat was. Aelin could be anywhere in Erilea or Wendlyn, although they all agreed it was likely Maeve would show up in Doranelle eventually, especially because Lorcan was  _banned_  from returning.

Elide was downstairs gossiping; they had been hopping from town to town for the past few days in search of information, and Elide was still giving him the cold shoulder. She spoke to him only when necessary, and whenever he tried to apologize, she quickly excused herself and often went to ask Gavriel a question if he was around, or sat by him for warmth on cold nights. Lorcan would instinctively bare his teeth, and Gavriel would always pretend he didn't notice the male aggression. He would turn his back as if to say,  _You deserve it. Suffer the consequences patiently._   _She'll talk to you when she's ready._

Elide's laughter floated up the stairs, and Lorcan was reminded that his task was to make sure she was safe. Who knew where King Erawan or her loathsome uncle Vernon had sent men? They had infiltrated the Kingdom of Adarlan so easily. He pulled on a shirt and schooled his expression into neutrality while he headed downstairs, where Elide was chatting with a young couple at a table. He slid next to her wordlessly, and the couple's eyes widened as they took in his appearance. Lorcan bowed his head slightly to seem less threatening, like Elide had said.

"Oh! Logan! It's rude if you don't introduce yourself," Elide feigned surprise and chastised him teasingly, while batting her eyelashes. Nice that she was still able to act so friendly towards him. He resisted the urge to bare his teeth at her and drag her up the stairs so they could talk about her behavior.

"Hello, my name is Logan." He inclined his head slightly and smiled. Lorcan hated acting, but they had all agreed that it was best not to use their real names, since enemy ears could be anywhere. Both the man and woman appeared unremarkable, perhaps townspeople looking for news from outsiders he surmised.

"Logan, this is Nat and Linsy. We were just chatting about the awful weather we've been having and when the rain's supposed to stop." It was dreadful out. It had been raining nonstop and traveling all day in the rain was too miserable. Elide had wrung her dress out on the doorstep of the inn when they first arrived.

"Logan is my fiancé," Elide continued to explain, casually bringing her hands above the table so that the couple could see them. She waggled her left hand. "Unfortunately, I don't have a ring yet because we've been traveling a lot and I don't want to lose it or attract thieves." Elide winked at him. Logan struggled to keep his face neutral and tried to smile. Since the incident on the beach, Elide had demoted him from husband to  _fiancé_.

Linsy nodded knowingly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She briefly looked around and then lowered her voice and said, "We've heard there's been a lot of activity in– in towns and cities nearby."

Elide opened her mouth to reply, hope rising in her eyes at the thought of any new information, anything that could point them in the correct direction. Before she could say anything, Lorcan smoothly replied, "Linsy, if you don't mind, I would like to speak to my fiancée privately."

For a second, Elide narrowed her eyes at him before smoothing out the lines on her face and excusing herself. The couple seemed taken aback, but Elide apologized and said she would be right back. Lorcan was almost up the stairs when he realized he should be waiting for Elide. He held out his hand to her and tried to smile genuinely.

He wondered how badly he had failed because Elide rolled her eyes and hissed at him, "This better be important." She impatiently tugged on his hand as she climbed the stairs and Lorcan followed. As soon as they were out of eyesight, she tried to tug her hand away. Lorcan's jaw twitched but he let her go.

"Elide, please. Just come to my room for a moment. I only want to talk," Lorcan pleaded. He was reduced to pleading. Begging for her to pay attention to him and not look at him with those cold eyes. Lorcan silently cursed under his breath.

Elide sucked in a breath and looked at him. Her eyes seemed to soften slightly, but her voice was low and rough when she said, "Fine. But be quick."

Lorcan didn't even know what he was going to say. He quickly led her to his room and locked the door behind them, so no one would catch them unaware. Elide was taking in the appearance of his room and his sparse belongings. They all had sparse belongings, since none of them had a home anymore. She perched herself on the end of his bed. And looked at him expectantly.

Heat rushed through him. He wanted to push her delicate body down onto the bed, pin her pale arms above her head and see if her blood sang, too. He wanted to see her dark hair splay across his bed, watch her chest rising as she breathed. He was halfway to the bed when he realized he was still daydreaming. Lorcan growled under his breath and hoped his thoughts hadn't been revealed. She was still angry with him, so he would be angry too.

"Fiancé?" Lorcan hissed. It was the only thing he could think to say.

"I didn't think you would mind. You were so displeased when I told you to pretend to be my husband when we were traveling with the carnival." Her eyes dared him to deny what she just said. He didn't deny it.

"You needed me to protect you, you said a  _brother_  wouldn't be enough," Lorcan replied. Elide's eyes flashed.

"Well, I don't need you to protect me anymore. Manon taught me how to protect myself." Elide stood up and lifted her chin defiantly. "You don't even have to watch me anymore. Just go away, go do whatever it is you want to do. I'm sure there are plenty of women who would be happy to warm your bed." Elide strode to the door to leave.

Lorcan grabbed her wrist and pinned it against the door firmly in a flash. Gods, she was so  _aggravating._  He could smell her cinnamon–and–elderberries scent, and his eyes flicked to the tendrils of hair that had wound their way out of the bun on her head. His nostrils flared.

Fear briefly flashed through Elide's eyes, before fierce anger replaced it. "Let me go," she hissed, struggling to pull her wrist away. Her other hand went to push his chest but he caught that wrist too, and pushed her carefully against the door. She felt so gods–damned  _breakable_. He hadn't said what he needed to say, hadn't said anything at all but he couldn't let her go. He didn't know what his feelings were or how he felt but he knew he needed to say something, anything. Maybe it was because he was no longer under the blood oath that he felt all these strange emotions, that he couldn't sort out the turmoil in his heart. Her chest was heaving against him, such a distraction.

"Elide, I am sorry." Before he could be distracted by her rosebud lips and anything else, he opened his mouth and words tumbled out. "I was foolish, so foolish. I thought– I thought we were being attacked and that Maeve would save you–"

"Why would you think that? You betrayed her first!" She hissed at him, still struggling against his hold. His grip loosened slightly. She avoided his gaze, as a hint of color creeped up her cheekbones. He noticed how close he was standing to her and took a small step back, relaxing his grip.

"Tell me, Elide, tell me what I have to do so that you won't hate me. Tell me how I can make this better," Lorcan said, his voice low. Pleading again. "After Maeve stripped me of the blood oath, I've been…" He struggled to find the pitiful, pathetic words. Lost. He had felt lost. He was lost, although he couldn't force himself to say it. Lorcan's onyx eyes searched hers, searching for something other than the anger and hatred he saw in them whenever she looked at him after he had gotten Aelin captured. He had put them all into this situation, after the armies Aelin had called to her aid.

Elide had understood without hearing Lorcan finish his thought. She had felt the vast well of grief and self–loathing open up within him as he searched her eyes. She could feel his regret, and she hated herself for pitying him. For wanting to open up to him and wanting him to open up to her. But gods–damned Lorcan had gotten her queen captured, and as much as she wanted to forgive him, it hadn't been long enough. Elide was still angry, but he was still protecting her, even though she had been ignoring him to her best ability.

"Lorcan, I just need… time." Elide licked her lips and wriggled her right wrist free from his grip, looping a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear. "With everything that happened on the beach… I thought you were going to die. I was ready to die, with you, for you, all I know is I couldn't bear to watch. And I thought… I thought you felt the same towards me." Elide swallowed. She hadn't meant to sound so hurt.

Lorcan's eyes flickered to the scar on her arm and she saw the muscles in his jaw clench tightly.

"I will never willingly put you in harm's way." Lorcan's voice was rough as he gently tipped her chin forward and met her gaze. "Never again. That was the blessing Mae- she gave me." Elide flinched slightly when Lorcan started to say Maeve's name again. The hurt he saw in her eyes was unbearable, and he knew it was all his fault. It was his fault for thinking he knew better, thinking he was anything but the naïve fool that Maeve had exposed him to be.

Elide swallowed again. "I should go now." In a flash, she slipped out the door. He could hear her breathing on the other side, and then she quietly went upstairs.

Blood was roaring in his ears, pounding in Lorcan's head. He was angry at himself for being such an idiot, for trusting  _rutting_ Maeve. He would gut her himself for using Elide as a negotiation tool and for stripping him of the blood oath so cruelly after centuries of being her faithful slave. Lorcan wanted to destroy something. He occasionally snarled as he paced the floor for a full minute, trying to calm himself, to keep himself from crumbling everything to dust. The inn would just be kindling, and he didn't want to pay for damages.

He slung on a jacket to hide his weapons from view and was halfway out the door when he heard a soft cry of pain from upstairs. Gods–damn it, he was such an idiot. In his blind rage, he hadn't thought to be vigilant, had thought that pulling his magic away from Elide was respectful. Dark magic spread from Lorcan in every direction as he headed up the stairs. He should have known better, he should have known that he couldn't leave that gods–damned, infuriatingly  _breakable_  woman alone by herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are short, so no summaries to give anything away! :)

**Elide**

Elide let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding after pulling the door to Lorcan's room shut. Although he held her against her will, she could feel his desperation and knew he didn't mean to hurt her. She knew he wasn't lying, but yet… She needed more time to sort out her feelings. To forgive him. She needed to find out who she was and how she could best serve her new court, Aelin's court.

Lost in thought, Elide slowly traipsed up the stairs, her ruined ankle hurting more than usual. Probably because of the non–stop pouring rain that made her joints ache and chilled her bones. A voice whispered to her,  _See_. But Elide was tired and aching and she just wanted a _hot bath_ , so she opened the door to her room still dreaming about the bath, and immediately a hand clapped her mouth, and another dragged her into the room. A man silently moved to close the door behind her. Elide immediately paled and her mouth was dry, but she opened her mouth to scream–

"Careful, love." The man holding her breathed in her ear. He held a glinting knife at her throat. Elide swallowed as shallowly as she could and held still. Gods. And after she had bragged to Lorcan that she hadn't needed his protection after all. Elide opened her eyes wide, as if she were a scared rabbit, and looked around. She still had the two hidden blades on her thighs, but there were at least 3 men in the room. One holding her, the one who closed the door now lurking in the shadows behind her, and one standing by the window, which overlooked the street. Was there one in the bathroom? Elide's eyes narrowed and she tried to calm her breathing. She would have to assume the worst. She would take down as many as she could when they were caught off–guard.

"C–c–can I help you?" She stammered out, hoping to stall, hoping to learn their motives. "I won't scream," she added, barely a whisper. Time. She just needed to buy some time. Her hands were shaking at her side and she willed her body to be still. They looked like soldiers, familiar… She realized she had seen them briefly at a table in the corner while she had been downstairs mingling with townspeople, but she never spoke to them.

"Yeah," The soldier holding her spat on the floor and smirked, "Take off your clothes, whore. Or do you want me to do it?" The man smiled hungrily.

Elide paled. Oh, gods. And Lorcan wouldn't come for her, not after tonight, he was probably far away by now. Elide watched as her own trembling hands came up to grab her shirt, slowly–

The man pushed her forward and then kicked the back of her legs, so that her knees hit the floor and she cried out as she caught herself with her hands. Her skirt caught under part of his boot, and all of the men laughed cruelly in anticipation. Elide let out a small whimper. She willed herself to stay strong, or else she would be of no use to Aelin, or to Manon, or to anyone. She would have to take at least one of them down with her; she just had to bide her time and gain their trust.

"Keep taking your clothes off, bitch. We saw you downstairs charming your way into conversations. Why don't you entertain us in other ways," The man by the window drawled, his hand still on his sword. He was tall, with tan skin and dark eyes, by what Elide could see in the moonlight. Elide quickly raised her shirt above her head, trying to delay them from coming near her and touching her. Each man in the room shifted a bit closer to her, and she could feel their eyes devouring her, drinking up her body and her reactions. It was too much for Lorcan, who was trembling with rage from head to toe outside her door. He had waited until Elide was a safe distance away from the soldier threatening her, and now he would show no mercy.

Elide's eyes widened as Lorcan flung the door open and immediately snapped the neck of the man who had held a knife to her throat. Then he shoved his dark magic down the throat of the man in the corner of the room, pushing all of the air out of his lungs, all of the air out of his body. The soldier died where he stood, his hands clutching his throat. The man by the window pulled out his sword and swung it at Lorcan, but Lorcan pulled out a knife and quickly slashed the man's wrist. The man dropped the sword and clutched his wrist. In a flash, Lorcan had twisted the man's uncut arm behind his back and held a knife to his throat.

"Why'd you go after her," Lorcan growled, his voice like granite. He tightened his grip on the man's arm and twisted it more

"S–she was alone, downstairs," The soldier stuttered, raising his other, useless arm in surrender.

"Ah, so you thought she was an easy target. Wrong. Die a coward's death," Lorcan hissed. The man's eyes widened in fear and Elide screamed, "Lorcan, no!"

Lorcan slowly slit the man's throat, his dark magic whirling around them like a shield. The man began choking and gurgling on his own blood. Elide's expression suddenly became unreadable. "Elide, don't watch," he snapped, hauling the body so that the man was no longer facing her. Lorcan relished in the man's death, but knew Elide would be angry. He left the man to die leaning against the wall. Lorcan quickly knelt down beside her.

"Are you alright?" His trained eyes ran over her, searching for any injuries on her perfect, white skin. He spotted her pale stomach, her legs under her skirt, her ruined ankle. Her chest was heaving slightly, her breasts covered by the lavender bralette she was wearing since she had taken her shirt off.

"I'm– I'm fine," she managed, "But you killed them Lorcan, you – he would have surrendered –"

"I know I did," Lorcan cut her off, his chin jerking to the side, "And I don't regret it, I don't regret saving you and –" Lorcan gave her a look that warned her not to interrupt – "I don't regret that they won't ever be able to do what they did again." Elide's eyes softened a bit, but her mouth pressed into a thin line. Elide was learning that Lorcan's Fae senses were much stronger than hers, and had come to terms with what Lorcan had said about the boat owner on the barge – that he had itched to betray them as soon as he was free.

"Put your shirt back on," Lorcan said roughly, "Unless you intend to finish what you started." He stood up, his eyes challenging her, carefully inspecting her once more.

Elide's eyes narrowed at him, and she smiled thinly. "Don't even think about it. Or else you're no better." Lorcan recoiled from her and hurt flickered through his eyes, but he turned to grab the dead man by the window. He began dragging him out, stopping to grab another on the way out the door. "I will dispose of these," he said tersely. "Stay here. Go into the bathroom if you feel safer. Don't leave until I come back for the last one." Elide hesitantly went to go sit on the bed, and rubbed her ankle absentmindedly.

She waited until Lorcan had moved the last body to gods–knows–where and came to sit on the bed next to her. "Well, I'm not sleeping in here. I'll tell the innkeeper that… that there's something wrong with this room and maybe they'll let me stay in another one," Elide stated matter–of–factly, avoiding Lorcan's gaze. She rubbed her eyes tiredly; she would think of a proper excuse on her way downstairs.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're staying with me." Lorcan was avoiding her gaze, looking at her small hands instead and expecting her to protest.

"I– I– can't, I couldn't do that," Elide said, startled. She shifted slightly on the bed.

"I can't leave you alone for one minute without you getting into trouble. Stay with me so I can protect you better." It was for her benefit as much as his, he reasoned. He figured she wouldn't be able to argue with it either.

Elide bristled. "It's not like I invited them into my room for tea, Lorcan." But then she swallowed and thought. What would Aelin do? Lysandra had shoved some gifts that belonged to Aelin into Elide's luggage bag before they had parted ways. When Elide had had a private moment to herself after they set off on their journey, she pulled out the two exquisite nightgowns that Lysandra had shoved into her bag, and her face immediately flushed. One was a light pink, satin, baby–doll nightgown and the other was black and lacy. True to Aelin's expensive tastes. "To give you strength and courage, and to remind you of our Queen," Lysandra had said softly, eyes fierce but full of sadness.

Elide was already feeling the exhaustion in her bones and being ambushed hadn't calmed her nerves, either. She really didn't want to talk to anyone else tonight. So she figured, staying one night to feel safer and sleep sounder wouldn't be so bad, would it?

"Just one night," she allowed. Lorcan's shoulders seemed to relax slightly. "And you're keeping your hands to yourself." Elide could still see some pain in Lorcan's eyes, but his face was set so seriously when he nodded that she almost laughed in spite of herself.

Elide brought her few belongings down to Lorcan's room, although she now had more belongings than when she started her original journey from Morath. She was thankful for that.

"I'm going to run a hot bath," Elide called to Lorcan, as she slipped into the bathroom. She had tucked the opulent pink nightgown in a folded towel. Lorcan was standing by the window.

"I'll… stand guard," He said, lamely. He didn't know what else to do. Elide laughed softly and disappeared. She started running hot water for her bath, and stripped off her shirt and ripped skirt. Lorcan had saved her again. Stupid, rutting Lorcan had killed soldiers for her again. She was grateful that he had saved her, but she didn't have to like it. She should be able to protect herself. Elide looked at herself in the mirror. Her body had filled out since she had started eating well again, but she still wasn't strong enough to protect herself, let alone anyone else. Elide sighed through her nose and slipped into the bath, moaning softly as the hot water engulfed her legs. She massaged her ankle absentmindedly.

Lorcan had no reason to continue protecting her, yet he always did, Elide mused to herself as she submerged herself in the tub. Even though at first, he had stalked her for  _days_  through Oakwald Forest, he did slay the many ilken that came in pursuit of her, horrible beasts that a mortal human could not slay alone. Elide had put him in danger as well. He had protected her even though he knew about the suspicious, mysterious item Elide carried, the only gift she could offer her Queen at the time. It had turned out to be what Lorcan was searching for, as well. And why Lorcan had agreed to go with her to find Aelin, to  _kill_  Aelin at the time.

But so much had happened since then, and Elide could feel how repentant Lorcan was when he spoke with her – when he was being repentant and not killing people mercilessly. She didn't know if his repentance was enough, but she also knew that he had been forced to do Maeve's every bidding and command for centuries. She had seen with her own eyes how he had stood stiffly and mutely on the beach. Even though Lorcan was disgraced because Maeve stripped him of the oath without honor, she was glad he was freed from her awful, manipulative crutches. Gavriel too.

Elide washed the day off of her, and stepped out of the tub. She wrung her hair out and after drying herself off with the towel, slipped into the delicate pink slip. Heat rose in her face and she felt ridiculous, but knew the effect she could have on men. Not daring to look at herself in the mirror for more than a few seconds, she picked up the small bundle of clothes she had stepped out of and stepped out of the bathroom. Lorcan was sitting in the armchair by the table, his eyes closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment/kudos/follow if you enjoyed :)
> 
> ~katnip


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Lorcan development and classic Fae male angst :)

**Lorcan**

Lorcan's acute senses meant he could hear Elide's soft moans as she slipped into the hot bath and relaxed while the warmth wrapped its way around her body, soothing her joints. He felt her contentedness and also scented a bit of nervousness, excitement. He could also smell… lavender? Faintly like Aelin... He didn't understand, but he was glad she was safe.

He was glad he got some of the pent–up frustration and anger out of his system; the soldiers who attacked Elide had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. And he had gathered that this wasn't the first time they had preyed on an innocent woman. It had appeared all too practiced to him, the way the soldiers were casually positioned around the room. He had incinerated all the bodies to ashes when he got outside the inn, so that no one would find the dead soldiers and start sniffing around.

Lorcan stoked the fire in the fireplace, then sat down in the armchair by the window. He supposed he was… content since Elide had agreed to stay with him tonight. He couldn't blame her, especially after what had happened earlier. His eyes closed as he waited for Elide to finish washing.

Twenty minutes later, Elide softly padded out of the bathroom, and she quietly bent over to drop a bundle of clothes into her open bag when Lorcan's eyes opened. He was immediately on his feet, his onyx eyes flashing and nostrils flaring. Elide didn't dare look at him yet.

"What. Is. That." He was looking at her and how the nightgown clung to her every sinful curve.  _Gods–dammit_. Did she know what she was doing?

"It was a gift. From Lysandra." Elide held her chin high and tossed her hair. She climbed onto the bed. "It's the only thing I have to sleep in." A lie, but he didn't need to know that. She did have the other nightgown, after all. And the ratty shirt she usually slept in. Lorcan's eyes narrowed.

"You might as well sleep naked," Lorcan muttered, stalking over to the bed. His eyes hadn't left her for a second. She saw his gaze flicker over her legs as she propped herself on her side, and his mouth had thinned to a hard, straight line.

"Well, that's no way for a maiden to sleep. I believe this does a great job of covering everything that needs to be covered." Elide widened her eyes innocently and fluttered her eyelashes.

Lorcan snorted. "Bullshit. Your breasts are spilling out." It was true. Elide was blessed with curves, and the nightgown was a bit low–cut, especially as she lay on her side. Lorcan was struggling to keep his breathing at a normal, steady pace. His fingers clenched and unclenched at his sides, and he willed himself to relax.

"Are you planning to sleep in the bed tonight?" Elide asked, nonchalantly. She wondered if he could hear her heart pounding slightly.

Lorcan stiffened, taut as a bow. Gods, how could she even ask him that? He expelled air through his nose, and if she only knew how thoroughly he wanted to ravish her–

Lorcan's nostrils flared as he kept his voice even, still hovering near the bed, although he was careful to stay out of reach. He was fighting the overwhelming urge to touch Elide, to rip that pretty, flimsy nightgown to shreds with his teeth and then taste every part of her with his lips and tongue, but she could not know that.

"No. I was planning on sleeping in the armchair, and if you're planning to sleep like  _that_ , then I better keep away. You wouldn't want a dishonored male sharing your bed." His jaw clenched as he forced himself to meet her gaze. Was this what Rowan went through with his fire queen? He couldn't imagine Aelin giving herself up that easily.

Elide's beautiful face creased as she frowned.

"You know I don't care about that, Lorcan," She said quietly. "I'm glad, you know. I'm glad  _she_  freed you from that loathsome bond. I know the freedom came with a cost, but... You're free now, Lorcan. Free to be happy the way you choose." She smiled at him, a beautiful and sad smile as shadows of flames flickered over her face. She laid down on her back and looked up at the ceiling, her chest rising in sync with her breathing. Why did he even choose to be around her? He was free now, free to do anything and be with anyone he wanted.

In a moment, Lorcan was towering over her. He was cursing silently under his breath. Damn the gods, and damn this woman. Curse Hellas. He was full of rage and fury and lust and self–loathing, all at the same time. This was the gods punishing him for five centuries of being a heartless, sinful bastard. For casting away his emotions and rejecting emotional attachments. Perhaps Anneith had been Hellas's downfall. Every god must have a weakness, after all.

Was it a weakness? As Lorcan looked into Elide's face, he saw nothing but excitement and defiance. She was  _nineteen_  and she was teasing  _him_. He had lived through 500 years, so many lifetimes. She had no idea about the things he had done in his past, and yet she looked up at him with innocence and hope. Suddenly, he couldn't look at her without feeling guilty. Disgust again, at himself.

Elide seemed to notice the change. She immediately pulled the blanket up to her chin. "Are– are you alright?" She asked quietly, peering up at him with her brown eyes. Lorcan's shoulders slumped and he exhaled slowly through his nose.

"What was your goal tonight?" Lorcan snapped, before he could stop himself. He immediately regretted it when he saw Elide's face. Heat immediately flooded her face and she looked away from him.

"I didn't– I didn't mean it like that, Elide." He slowly reached out to touch her smooth arm, all he could allow himself. Elide could read the apology in his eyes. And she appreciated his restraint with her, his careful movements since she knew he could so easily snap her neck. He took a step back from the bed and crossed his arms.

"I'm over 500 years old," Lorcan reminded her. What had gotten into him today?

Elide bristled. "I know that already, Lorcan. Does it matter to you? That I'm nineteen?"

Lorcan was pretty sure what he felt was shock, because he didn't know what to say. Did it matter? Did it  _not matter_  to her that he was over 500 years old and hadn't properly mated yet? Her reaction just confirmed that living around monsters had completely desensitized Elide to them.

"No, it doesn't matter to me," Lorcan replied, his eyebrows raised. He had bedded human women before, but there was something unnervingly distinct about Elide.

Something like relief flashed through her eyes, and she lifted her chin at him again. "It doesn't matter to me, either."

Lorcan longed to touch her, but he didn't think he could bear if she rejected him. Plus he did not want to test his control right now, since he knew she was inexperienced. So he promptly rotated on his heel and strode towards the door. Elide watched Lorcan's muscles flex as he moved. He paused.

"I'll stand watch outside the door and sleep in the armchair when I'm tired. You've had a long day. Sleep, Elide." He turned the knob of the door and stepped out, quietly pulling the door shut behind him.

Lorcan leaned against the wall in the corner, partly hidden in the shadows. His heart was pounding in his chest, his blood singing in his ears. Moonlight streamed through the window above the stairs. He needed to think, anyway. Think about what he was doing, who he was. Questions he hadn't asked himself in centuries because he had revolved ceaselessly around Maeve, submitting to her every demand, her every whim and request. Because he had loved her. His mouth twisted humorlessly at the thought.

Elide had said back when they were traveling with the carnival that he hadn't known what love was. Lorcan had turned the statement over and over in his mind, trying to understand. He had admired and respected Maeve, admired her for her great and everlasting beauty, respected her for her cruelty and power, and what he once thought was benevolence. But centuries of obedience had taught him what he had ignored and refused to acknowledge; Maeve wasn't ever benevolent unless it benefitted her. She wielded the strings of people's lives in her hands and pulled on the strings like puppets, made them dance and cry as she pleased. She had centuries upon centuries to explore her power, after all.

But Elide,  _Elide_ … He couldn't get her out of his head, no matter how he searched a way around it. He listened to her shift as she tossed and turned to get comfortable. He would have to tell her about himself, at some point. He did not look forward to it. He barely spoke, except to bark orders most of the time. Usually looking at a woman intensely was enough to turn her to jelly in his arms, except that didn't work with Elide. Because she wouldn't let him touch her again, not since that time in the Stone Marshes…

Lorcan shook his head and growled softly under his breath. He wouldn't think about that, not after tonight. He listened again to Elide's breathing, which had slowed. Perhaps she had finally fallen asleep. His miserable heart ached. He didn't deserve how beautiful and wonderful she was, but maybe one day he would. And he would bed her when she was willing and accepted him for he was– if she ever accepted him.

Lorcan patiently counted Elide's breaths, until he was sure she was asleep. Then he slipped into the room, locked the door, and collapsed into the armchair. He fell into a deep, dreamless sleep soon after.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment/kudos/follow if you enjoyed :)
> 
> ~katnip


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elide has a nightmare :o

**Elide**

Elide felt guilty after Lorcan snapped at her. When was the last time he had been with a woman? She felt foolish for not expecting Lorcan to react the way he had. She was still a virgin, and she wasn't even sure she had been ready for anything more to happen, yet she had pranced out in the nightgown. Elide sighed through her nose, mortified by her own actions. Well, she supposed she hadn't been acting like herself since she'd been thinking of Queen Aelin. But then he had just turned on his heel and left, probably now slinking around in the dark being a broody Fae male.

Elide huffed. She turned on her side and tried to think about something else. Tossed and turning, she eventually fell asleep sometime after Lorcan stepped out. She slept fitfully, dreams and nightmares flitting through her consciousness as she tried to reach a deeper sleep. Shadows moved throughout her dreams, and she could have sworn she saw the dungeons of Morath. Thankfully, the shadows swirled away, but the scene was replaced with a beach, the smell of salt and seawater, and…

Maeve's violet eyes were boring holes into her, a wicked smile playing on her lips as Cairn stood smiling silently by her side, a whip in his hands. Fear rose inside of Elide, like a bottle uncorked.  _It's not real, it's not real_ , Elide chanted, willing herself to wake up. She screwed her eyes shut and starting running down the beach. Darkness opened up in front of her and she screamed as she collided with the inky black.

Elide swore she could see Uncle Vernon in the corner of the room, smiling nastily as he waited for her to wake up. She opened her mouth to scream, to warn Lorcan, but it was like she was underwater. Her arms and legs were heavy as she tried to get out of bed to run. Vernon opened his mouth to speak and –

Elide's eyelids finally snapped open, and she bolted upright, her chest heaving. Her eyes wildly scanned the room, but she only saw Lorcan, fast asleep in the chair by the window. He hadn't seemed to sense that anything was amiss. The sun had not started to rise yet, and eventually, her breath started to slow. She still trembled from the dreams; they had seemed so  _real_.

Before she could convince herself from doing it, she swung her legs over the bed and padded over to Lorcan, wishing for some comfort. The lines on his chiseled face were smoothed out, and he looked much more peaceful than he normally did during the day. He was real, wasn't he? Elide's trembling fingers reached out to touch his jaw.

Lorcan's eyes opened before his fingers reached him, his onyx eyes finding hers. Elide let out a small squeak and stepped back in surprise.

"I– I– was just," Elide stammered, "I was having a bad dream and– and– wanted to know if you were real." She swallowed hard. Lorcan noticed that she was still trembling from head to foot and knew she wasn't lying about the dream. His magic subtly braced her ankle. It was silent for a few breaths.

So softly it was barely a whisper, Elide asked, "Will you hold me?"

Lorcan's heart ached as he watched her eyes cast downward, as if she expected him to reject her when she was standing there trembling like a leaf, scared and vulnerable. He knew he would truly be a monster if he refused her, so he allowed himself to instinctively scoop her into his arms and settle back into the armchair. Lorcan leashed his thoughts, even though she was still wearing that gods–damned pink slip that had sent him wild last night. He brushed his lips against the top of her head as she tucked her knees against his chest.

His arms were wrapped around her and gods, his skin was hot. He was a living, breathing furnace. Elide couldn't help but nestle into the radiating warmth, and she was surprised at how safe she felt, encircled in his arms. Elide's hand absentmindedly traced some of the scars on his chest, and she wondered how he had gotten them. One day, she would have to make him be honest with her. Lorcan had moved so that his mouth was by her ear.

"Sorry, you woke me up so I might not be in full control of myself right now," Lorcan breathed roughly into her ear. She knew what he meant because she could feel something hard pressing against the side of her thigh. Elide shuddered slightly as Lorcan's hot breath raised the hairs on her neck and down her spine.

"It– It's okay," she managed to squeak out. Her eyes closed and Lorcan could feel her soft breath on his chest. Lorcan's eyes closed as well. He let her comforting smell and her warmth envelop him. He would enjoy this small, sliver of peace for as long as he could. It soothed his miserable soul. And Elide had stopped trembling, which was a bonus.

Rowan and Gavriel came in through the window shortly after dawn broke, instead of knocking on the door like normal individuals. Lorcan immediately woke and practically threw Elide onto the bed. He glared at her when she tried to protest sleepily, rolling her up in a blanket. Gavriel was looking at him with his eyebrows raised and Rowan looked slightly bemused, although his eyes still beheld their usual sadness. Elide was finally awake and sitting up with the blanket wrapped around her, eyes wide. She would have found the situation comical if she hadn't realized that she was still wearing the skimpy nightgown. Her face turned red.

"I don't have anything else to say except that nothing happened," Lorcan said coolly, before anyone else could say anything. Elide fought the urge to smile.

"We're impressed by your restraint," Gavriel replied wryly, his tawny eyes showing slight amusement. His gaze met Elide's, like he was assessing her for injuries. Lorcan tensed and instinctively slipped into a crouch, lips curling up. Oh gods, he was being all territorial again. For the past few days, Lorcan had been snarling at Gavriel whenever he had so much as glanced at her. Even Rowan had said that past Lorcan would have laughed himself to death if he could see himself now.

"Lorcan, stop that," she commanded. _Fussy Fae male_ , she thought to herself. She was surprised and slightly pleased when Lorcan listened and straightened up. She faced Gavriel.

"Gavriel, I'm fine." She hesitated, then added, "Some soldiers attacked me in my room last night but Lorcan took care of them."

Rowan and Gavriel's eyes both snapped to Lorcan's face, expecting his report. "Obviously nothing I couldn't handle. I eliminated the three soldiers, Elide was unharmed, and–" Lorcan quickly glanced at Elide with an unreadable expression, "–I buried the men out back. I wouldn't leave her unprotected, but she insists against my presence most of the time. I can protect her better if she doesn't run away from me." Lorcan finished, his tone neutral.

Gavriel's eyes found Elide's again. "It's for your own safety," he said softly.

Elide nodded. "I know. I won't complain anymore."

Lorcan was now looking at her too, but she avoided his eyes. She knew he must have been worried when she was ambushed.

Rowan cleared his throat and glanced sidelong at Gavriel. He must have something important to report. "Gavriel and I have searched high and low for news of Aelin, and we began thinking again. Maeve must know by now that Aelin doesn't have the wyrdkeys. So what would Maeve do next?" Lorcan rolled his eyes, but Gavriel shot him a warning look. They had had this conversation many times already.

Gavriel picked up the thread. "We were reviewing Maeve's plan when she captured Aelin. Maeve had used the fires along Eyllwe to make the people think that Aelin was attacking the coast. So Maeve turns her enemy's strengths against them, but to guarantee her victory and add insult to injury, she also exploits their weaknesses."

Rowan's green eyes had that hollow, glassy appearance again. "Aelin loves her court… and she loves the people of Terrasen. And Maeve will find out eventually that the wyrdkeys aren't there either. But to learn that…" Rowan took a deep breath. "We think Maeve is going to attack Terrasen."

Lorcan stiffened and hissed softly. Rowan explained that he and Gavriel had found some signs of unusual activity in the forests near Terrasen. Elide's head was starting to spin. What Rowan and Gavriel said made sense, and when she looked at Gavriel, she knew he was thinking of Aedion. And Elide was thinking about Lysandra and the rest of Aelin's court, and the people of Perranth. Her people, who likely didn't remember her and may never know she still exists. She paled and shuddered.

"We'll stop her," Lorcan said firmly, surely. Elide caught herself admiring him for being ever the commander. "We are no longer bound to her, and we do not do her every asinine bidding any longer. She will not control our lives any longer." Rowan nodded at him in thanks, and Gavriel inclined his head as well. They were all silent for a few heartbeats.

"We should set out immediately. We have to warn the others if we find out anything before they do," Gavriel said, breaking the silence. Everyone nodded, and they all began to gather their belongings. They would set forth towards Terrasen, Elide's homeland, and hope that their Queen would appear. But Elide knew that if Aelin appeared, it meant Maeve was near, which may trigger war against the already-weakened Terrasen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N** : hey everyone, I hope I haven't lost you all yet! we're just starting to heat up~! i've thought up some direction for this story, so it will stretch out to around 15 chapters, perhaps beyond? will take me a little bit to write and review it all, so let me know what you all think so far and i'll keep writing when i can! i'm trying to stay accurate to the story's canon, so i may go back and edit lines regarding travel/distances/time it takes to travel, cos honestly i'm making it up at this point haha.
> 
> let me know where i'm losing you with this story! am i writing too many words? not enough words?! i like to read longer fics, so I tend to write more and publish 2k-3k word chapters. also i'm thinking of doing some Rowaelin one-shots in the future, even though the angst and tension between that relationship breaks me sometimes lmao. as always, comments/kudos/follows are appreciated :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lorcan tries honesty~ :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hellooo~ I wanted to have a scene with Lorcan explaining himself properly to Elide, supplementing the rushed scene during their tour with the carnival in EoS. The direction of the story will be more clear after the next (longer!) chapter. Let me know how you like the story so far in the comments~
> 
> ~katnip

**Elide**

Elide knew this was a serious move and a gamble, because Rowan had been putting off the decision to sail west towards Wendlyn. He had been afraid of being too far away if Aelin showed up in Adarlan or, like they now feared, Terrasen. Although he could fly to her aid, it would be hard to come by news once they set sail on the ocean. The four of them were currently in Fenharrow, near Bellhaven, so they were still a couple days journey from the borders of Terrasen. Rowan and Gavriel alternated between surveillance and riding on horseback with Elide and Lorcan on lesser traveled paths to avoid unnecessary confrontation. The Fae males were also still searching for any clues Fenrys may have left behind.

Fenharrow had suffered due to its proximity to Morath, which was nestled in the mountains of Adarlan. They traveled due north towards Rifthold, giving Morath a wide berth and avoiding towns and cities as best as they could.

They had debated setting up camp, but had decided that there was too much open space and not enough dense forest to hide in. The Fae males would have been okay with camping out, but traveling with Elide made them consider staying at an inn in a forgotten town somewhere. They would be roughing it from then on, as they had to cross Rifthold and the Ararat Mountains while avoiding the damned creatures of the Ferian Gap.

Although Rowan, Gavriel, and Lorcan tried to keep their faces partially hidden, they still attracted some attention as they walked into a small town and proceeded towards an inn. The inn had seemed rather prosperous at one point, but now it appeared worse for wear. As they entered the inn, Elide's eyes adjusted to the flickering lamplights. The wooden boards used to build the inn had lost their luster, and the glass cups lining the shelves looked tired and worn down. The townspeople talked in a more hushed tone and appeared more guarded, wary. Soldiers often lightly brushed their swords, either for comfort or security.

Elide booked a room for herself and Lorcan with the local innkeeper, who didn't bother to ask who she was or where she came from. Although she was prepared to answer his questions falsely, she was still grateful whenever she didn't have to lie.

She had agreed it was safer to stay near Lorcan, although they hadn't explicitly discussed their sleeping situation. Rowan and Gavriel booked their own separate rooms, on the same floor as her room. After what happened to Elide at the last inn, they weren't taking any chances with her safety.

Instead of mingling down by the bar like she normally would have done, Elide went up to her room immediately, her head feeling a bit heavy. Perhaps she was catching a cold, so it was a good thing they were all trying to lie low, and Lorcan followed her upstairs to their room. It was unremarkable, set up similarly to the last inn they had stayed at. There was an old rug set in front of the fireplace, along with an armchair. Elide sat on the bed and took off her shoes. She wriggled her toes, and dutifully inspected her ankle. Silence stretched between them.

"Tell me where you came from," Elide said abruptly. Lorcan was crouched by the fireplace, and he paused at her request.

"Don't you already know?" Lorcan stalled. He knew he said he'd tell her about himself, but…

Elide wanted to know more. "Tell me again. I don't know the whole story," she coaxed.

Lorcan's black hair glinted silver in the firelight as he shook his head. "Ha! It's not a very good story. And I'm not a storyteller."

Elide waited. She half–expected him to change his mind, but then Lorcan sighed and sat in the armchair, in front of the fire.

"As you know, I was born a bastard on the streets of Doranelle. My mother was human – she died of disease when I was only a few years old. All I remember was that she was beautiful. My father was a Fae male but I never knew him." His eyes and tone were impassive. "I grew up in the slums, fighting in back alleys and stealing to survive. I knew I was different from the other demi–Fae and even from the Fae. The first time I discovered my magic, I was still a child. I killed a man with it, who wanted to sell me off as a slave to the highest bidder." Lorcan's eyes were hard, and Elide kept her face carefully neutral, wishing for him to say more.

"I believe it was my fear of dying that awakened the magic –  _my_ magic. When the dark magic flowed through me, I no longer feared Death, for my gift  _was_  Death. The man crumbled where he stood because I willed him to die so that I could live. My magic was dark and ancient, and no one knew what it was or cared due to fear. I was out of control for a while, until I mastered it, spending years training in the mountains to control and test the limits of destruction. My magic was born from my will to live, but I had nothing except for my magic… Until Maeve found me and said she had a use for my  _gift_. She offered me honor and glory, a reason to fight…" Lorcan's deep voice trailed off and his mouth twisted at the memory as he stared into the fire, flames dancing in his onyx eyes.

Elide thought she saw flickers of emotions as they briefly crossed Lorcan's face. Hatred… anger and… sorrow. Or regret? Elide held her breath, afraid that even the tiniest of sounds would dispel Lorcan from his reverie.

Lorcan's onyx eyes refocused on her and she held his gaze, alert and eager. His gravelly, almost–bored tone returned as he continued, "You know I served Maeve for centuries. I had my fill of honor and glory. I commanded Maeve's armies, slaughtered our enemies, burned cities to ashes, and then drunk myself into a stupor during the celebrations, only to do it all again the next day or week or month. The things she asked… We would all drink to forget, us warriors, because we had no way to disobey… Rowan was the same. Then Rowan met the fire-queen. And I met you, in Oakwald Forest." Lorcan didn't bother sugarcoating his actions in the past, but he watched Elide's face all the same to measure her reaction. Lorcan wasn't sure he had ever seen a more carefully composed face when he told someone who he was. Even though Elide had experienced his magic firsthand and seen him perform inhumane feats of strength and destruction, a slightly surprised expression was all he could read from her face.

Mostly since Elide was still recovering from the fact that Lorcan had just strung so many words together. She ignored the urge to tease him about it, instead sifting through what he had just told her, which mostly confirmed what she already knew. She knew that Lorcan was terrifying and merciless, but to hear him list his past actions so casually, like items on a shopping list… Elide knew normal people would be terrified of Lorcan's track record, if they didn't already fear him from his savage, warrior–like appearance.

But Elide wasn't normal. She had been locked up in a gods–damned  _tower_  for ten, excruciating years, and she had resolved to embrace life as much as she could as soon as she had escaped from rutting Morath. So she wouldn't let anyone intimidate her anymore, not the ilken, not her uncle Vernon, and certainly not Lorcan. He may not be human, but his mind worked similarly enough.

Elide knew he didn't want her pity, but at the same time, she felt sad that he had never known normal circumstances before, things like homes, and family, and friends. Now that she had found her court, she had a goal– several goals. Find Aelin, destroy the Valg King and his armies, and reinstate Aelin as Queen in Terrasen. And Elide would have to think about being the Lady of Perranth, but she didn't dare think of that now, not when Vernon was still alive. She wondered what Lorcan desired from life, now that he was free from–

"I'm nothing like Maeve," Elide blurted out, but then she clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "I– I don't know why I said that." She was avoiding his gaze and the flush on her lovely cheeks made her embarrassment clear as day. How could she hope to compare, anyway? Even though Maeve was so cruel, she was also eternal, powerful, and lovely, while Elide was somewhat–mostly human, barely educated, and lamed. She stared at the mass of scar tissue on her ruined ankle, the twin rings on her ankles, and blew dark locks of hair from her face. Lorcan's head had tilted to the side as he studied her intently.

Lorcan knew why she had said it. It was because he had told her that he loved Maeve, back when they were traveling with the troupe. And as he looked at her and saw the hopelessness filling her eyes, he loathed his miserable, wretched self for being such an idiot. For thinking he loved hatred and cruelty. He hated Maeve now for what she had done, but he carefully leashed that anger. Now wasn't the time.

Lorcan crossed his muscular arms and attempted to lighten the mood. "Isn't that a good thing? I don't know why you would want to be like Maeve at all after what happened."

Elide's eyes snapped to his, and she could see that this was his pathetic attempt to assure her that he didn't love Maeve anymore. Elide's gave him a half–smile. "That's true. Although, it must have been nice to have you as her errand boy for 500 years." Lorcan growled in warning but Elide just laughed.

The peal of laughter calmed something inside him, and Lorcan relaxed his stance, but edged closer to her. Perhaps he'd toy with her, for a change.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No spoilers :)

**Lorcan**

Lorcan prowled towards her. Elide's eyes narrowed as she noticed his casual but deliberate movements. "What are you doing?" she asked, not daring to take her eyes off of him.

He gave her a small, lazy smile, flashing his canines at her. "Teaching you some fear. That fearlessness of yours is going to get you killed one day, girl." Elide bristled at the word  _girl_ , but watching Lorcan stalk her set her senses on edge and she lithely rolled off the edge of the bed to stand upright. The bed was now between them, although she was pretty sure he didn't even consider it a hindrance.

"I'm not a girl anymore, and you don't scare me," she said boldly. Her hands balled up at her sides, but she lifted her chin up, feigning confidence. "Plus, if you wanted to kill me, you would have done so long ago." Elide knew she had said the wrong thing when she saw rare, dancing amusement in his eyes.

Lorcan's smile widened as she fell into his trap. "Who said anything about killing you?" he drawled, those onyx eyes pinning hers. Elide's confidence faltered slightly as she processed his lazy reply. The pause was enough for Lorcan to move across the room at an inhumane speed and grab Elide's wrist before she could take a step back. She was startled, but mostly irritated that she let him catch her off–guard so easily. Growling, Elide braced her legs against the floor and made to yank her arm back, but Lorcan just tugged firmly on her arm, pulling her forward. Elide's knees collided with the side of the bed, and she fell forward onto the bed, her other arm braced in front of her. Of course the bed wasn't an obstacle, when he could use it as a prop! Elide ignored the pain in her knees and let out a bark of frustration.

Lorcan smirked at her naiveté. It was cute, really. She hastened to roll over so she could get away, but Lorcan's arm was on the other side of her. Already, he was tensed and hovering over her, with a rather wolfish expression as he waited for her next move. Elide cursed at him. Bastard. He couldn't deny it; he was enjoying being in control of the situation.

Elide shoved hard at Lorcan's muscular chest, which didn't budge at all, proving his muscles served their function in addition to looking ridiculously good. Elide swore and scowled as her wrists throbbed slightly from the impact. His eyebrows raised at her, as if to say,  _is that the best you can do?_  She glared right back, summoned all her strength, and then shoved  _upwards_ as hard as she could, torqueing her body into Lorcan's left arm, hoping to at least disarm him so that she could roll to the edge of the bed–

Lorcan's right hand grabbed her by the shirt and yanked her farther onto the bed, and she was dragged flat onto her stomach. He moved so that she was beneath him; his flexed arms were like cages around her and his chest a steel roof curved above her. Lorcan's muscles were stretched taut with restraint, and he tried not to let Elide's slim, struggling figure distract him too much.

"Now this," Lorcan bent his head down to Elide's ear, "is definitely not the position you want to be in." His low, throaty voice tickled Elide's ear and she shuddered slightly. His hair was brushing against her shoulder and she could feel his weight against her. She felt the blush rushing farther and farther up her face and she was sure she looked like a tomato.

As if to prove his point, or perhaps he didn't even realize he was doing it, Lorcan's right hand lightly touched her clothes just below her breast, and he brushed his hand downwards until it was resting on her hip. Elide's heart caught in her throat as she felt his fingers brush against her bare skin, but she restrained herself and let out a hiss instead of a moan. Lorcan tried not to think about how he could tease out her moans in other ways.

She wasn't going to give Lorcan the satisfaction of winning all the time. It was unfair. His toned muscles, his beautifully sculpted face, and those eternal, onyx eyes. When she first met him in the forest, she wasn't sure if he had ever known or shown compassion. And now… Elide didn't know why, but she liked the way his eyes had softened slightly. They weren't so hard and unforgiving around the edges anymore… sometimes.

"Getting distracted, are we?" Lorcan breathed in her ear again. He lightly squeezed her hip and she yelped; her skin felt like it had been electrified. She silenced the struggling voice in the back of her mind that wondered what would happen if she didn't stop him. Lorcan worked to control himself, to restrain his desire and calm his blood.

Elide gritted her teeth, getting more and more annoyed. She knew in her heart that Lorcan wouldn't hurt her, but she also understood that this was a situation that she could find herself in one day- actually, a situation she had found herself in just the other day. He wanted to know how she would defend herself against just one attacker, albeit an annoyingly powerful Fae male. So far, pretty pathetically. Which meant Elide was shit out of luck against multiple attackers.

She was furious about needing to be protected all the time by Lorcan, Gavriel, and Rowan. Elide had gotten used to it, but she was sick of feeling like a burden. She may have been lucky so far in her life with an old and wise goddess watching over her, but wars needed warriors and fighters and strategists, and at the very least, people able to defend themselves.

So Elide opened her eyes wide and feigned, "Oh gods, my ankle!" Her face contorted itself into crushing pain as she rolled onto her side and reached down to clutch her ruined ankle. She looked at Lorcan, willing him to believe her pain, to believe that the pain consumed her like no other. His eyes narrowed at her suspiciously as he lifted himself upwards slightly. Elide hid her smile under the curtain of her hair as she palmed the knife strapped to her thigh instead. All she had to do was slash upwards at his throat, like Manon had taught her.

Lorcan could smell her thinly masked courage, and he tensed, anticipating her next move. She was always full of surprises, which he liked about her, surprisingly enough.

In a blink, Elide had steeled her heart, calmed her breath, and slashed upwards towards him. Lorcan was fast, but she had the upper hand with the element of surprise. He had sensed her movement and straightened up immediately, but Elide predicted it and leaned forward as she slashed across where Lorcan's chest now was, nicking him with her knife. A cut materialized over his left pectoral muscle and started to leak drops of blood onto his black shirt. Elide threw her other arm in front of her to block the expected backlash, but nothing came. She peeked under her arm at Lorcan, whose face was impressively impassive, observing her reaction.

Elide thought she would feel triumphant, but really, she felt awful, even though the goal had been for her to defend herself.

"Are– are you okay?" she asked automatically, even as she watched the cut slowly knit itself closed before her eyes. Her fingers fluttered over to the cut, and she traced one end's puckered edges, still pink and raw from healing. Lorcan watched her fingers, bemused.

"I would have been dead long ago if scratches like that hurt me. Fae heal faster than humans; just having Fae blood is enough, it seems." His tone was meant to reassure her. Elide realized she may have hit something vital, if Lorcan moved at human speed, but at her current speed she was no match for him.

"I'm still sorry," she apologized, touching his face gently. Lorcan reminded himself to shave since his face was getting scruffy. Elide didn't seem to mind, though.

Lorcan lifted himself off of the bed and stood up. He rolled his neck and shoulders. "Don't be. I was the one who pushed you. At least I know you could disarm a single human male now. Better than nothing at all. Plus, you're a long way off from being able to disarm me."

Elide opened her mouth and then closed it. And then she said carefully, "I'll kill humans only when necessary. Never for sport, or out of anger. The creatures of Morath… they are a different story. They shouldn't have ever existed in the first place."

Lorcan wasn't sure he wanted to tell her that in war, killing was almost always necessary, if he was being honest with her. Unless you needed prisoners for interrogation. But after extracting any useful knowledge or information from them, they become useless. Better off dead, since dead men don't talk.

But he didn't want to break her so soon, discourage her from her ideology. She would soon learn that the definition of  _necessary_  would challenge her.

"I can train you," he offered, without really thinking it through. It was probably the only thing he could offer her though, when he thought about it. Elide looked at him incredulously.

"You? Train me?" she sputtered, "But… But I'm human! What would that even entail?"

What would it entail, indeed? Lorcan thought it over for a few seconds, before shrugging.

"It's up to you what you want to focus on. Strength training. Self–defense. Weapons training, if you prove yourself capable…" Lorcan seemed doubtful about the last part, which only spurred Elide's determination. He knew she wanted to get stronger, but truthfully, Elide should find herself a Blackbeak witch that could teach her the ways of the Ironteeth. Blackbeak blood. Lorcan could smell it, even if Elide's blood ran red. She unconsciously smothered it under her human blood… which meant that Elide must have some magic dwelling inside her. He tucked that knowledge into his mind, reminding himself to think about it more later.

"Fine," she decided, straightening her shoulders. Maybe this would be good for her. "When do we start?"

Lorcan's wicked smirk immediately had her backtracking. Nope, this would not be good. She was going to get her ass kicked, she could feel it.

"Tomorrow. At dawn," he answered, "Better get some rest before then." Lorcan continued smirking at her and she gulped. What had she gotten herself into? Elide's gaze wandered out the window, and she thought she saw a white-tailed hawk flying in circles nearby. She continued looking around the room, and her eyes fell on the armchair in front of the fire.

"You know, you can sleep in the bed if you want. You don't have to sleep in the armchair," she offered, awkwardly. Lorcan didn't respond immediately, and Elide started to wonder if he had heard her. Which was foolish, because of course he had. He was just biding his time, choosing his answer.

Finally, Lorcan's eyes slid to hers, and his granite voice asked her steadily, "Do you trust me that much?"

Elide wasn't sure why, but she dodged the question. "I know I trust Rowan and Gavriel to kill you if you put a single scratch on me." She saw the look in his eyes and immediately regretted what she said. She had said it because… because, well, she was scared of what saying  _yes_  would mean. But he had held her after her nightmare, and she had felt secure enough to fall asleep in his arms. After everything they had been through, it felt like an insult to say that she didn't trust him at all.

She swallowed and quickly said, "That's not what I mean, not what I really want to say- I meant to say- Yes. Yes, I trust you that much." As soon as she admitted it out loud, her heart felt right, felt lighter as the tightness left her chest.

Lorcan relaxed as well. He was relieved when she hastily amended her answer. His control slipped slightly when she mentioned Rowan and Gavriel; their names sent him spiraling down into his magic in pain and rage, before he knew it. His heart had started to ache as he struggled to express that he only ever wanted to protect her. He had promised to her that he would keep her safe, and that hadn't changed.

"Thank you." He managed, bowing his head to her. "I'm… honored."

Elide snorted. "You know you don't have to be formal with me, when I am nobody and have nothing."

"I don't think you're nobody."

Elide opened her mouth to respond, and then paused. "Who do you think I am?" she asked, curious.

Lorcan had been thinking this over for a while, how to say this, how to tell her…

"Elide Lochan, you are the rightful Lady of Perranth. Though you may no longer have access to your lands and people, they were taken from you unjustly by your Uncle Vernon. He was the one who locked you in the tower, who stole precious years from you and refused to heal your ankle and leg when it was broken. He is Erawan's right-hand man, and he also locked you in those wretched dungeons of Morath. He is integral to the coming war." Lorcan's voice dripped with venom and hate, and Elide's face darkened as memories resurfaced in her mind.

Elide took a deep breath. "I know that, don't you think that  _I_ of all people know that?" Lorcan held up his hands, trying to show her that he was not trying to attack her, urging her to think about what he said.

"Elide, do you understand what I mean?" he asked, his voice low, tinged with desperation. Did she see the answer to her questions, the questions she asked about what she could do, how she could help?

Elide's eyes appeared to focus on something far away as the pieces slid into place. "Vernon," she breathed, his foul name leaving a bad taste in her mouth. She understood. "He has to die." Vernon was Erawan's second-in-command, so her uncle's death would be a blow to his forces.

Lorcan's smile was vicious, triumphant. Although he was drawn to her innocence, he was also drawn to the way Elide looked when she thirsted for justice… or perhaps revenge… the two so often overlapped, he mused.

But, yes. Vernon was the goal. Once Elide killed him, she could reclaim her lands, her people, for herself and for Aelin, the true Queen of Terrasen. This was the purpose Elide was searching for. And Lorcan was damned if he didn't see this through until the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment/kudos/follow if you enjoyed :)
> 
> ~katnip


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No spoilers :)

**Lorcan**

Lorcan knew he would have to convince Elide about interrogating, and possibly torturing, Vernon. The right-hand of Erawan would be a wealth of information… if they could get it out of him. He could reveal whether he or Erawan had had any contact with that bitch Maeve, or any knowledge on the whereabouts of Aelin Galathynius. He knew Elide hated the thought of torture, but perhaps she would agree to allow him to do it, if it were for Aelin.

Oh, how the tables had turned; just a week ago, he had been thinking about creative ways to murder the irritating bitch-queen, and now… Now he was indebted to Aelin for allowing Elide to walk away from Maeve unscathed, while he had stood there pathetically locked under Maeve's commands. Lorcan would certainly enjoy wringing every rutting detail from that vile man's mind, for what he had done to Elide all these years. The side of his mouth quirked up approvingly at the thought. He already hated that he had to bring her back to Morath, that hateful, festering place, but if it was what needed to be done…

"Elide, I promise you that I will help you kill your uncle, however you need me. If you want me to kill him, I will. If you wish to do the honors, I will not disrespect your decisions. I will burn down all of the dungeons, everything I can to the ground if you wish it." Lorcan's eyes were lit with dark fire as he promised her, as if he hadn't promised her enough already. He wasn't sure what it was that had gotten into him lately, but even before he had met Elide, Lorcan had been preparing to go to Morath so it seemed like a waste not to put the knowledge he had gained to good use… Dark creatures that should never have existed in this realm were oozing out of Morath as well as the Ferian Gap, and his magic had been yearning to be unleashed, delighting in the thought of death and destruction.

Elide's eyes widened as Lorcan spoke, and she thought about what he said. "I… I'm not sure what to say. Nobody has ever…" Elide swallowed shakily, but her eyes were bright and fierce. "Nobody has ever promised to fight for me, to stand up for me, until I met Manon. And you… But, are you sure this is what you want?" Her eyes softened as she studied the hard lines on his face. Did her kindness know no limits or bounds?

"It's the least I can do," he replied honestly, bowing his head slightly. He would stay by her side, at least until the insufferable Queen came back, who would inevitably claim Elide for her court.

Elide thanked him sincerely, her breath hitching in her voice. She didn't understand what compelled him to protect her now, when before he had only used her for information and wanted nothing more… Probably guilt, she thought. Her eyelashes fluttered as she relaxed her shoulders and realized how tired and sore she was from traveling all day.

Elide yawned, covering her mouth with a hand and Lorcan noticed how exhausted she looked, even though his magic now braced her scarred, right ankle whenever Elide was awake. She hissed softly as she rolled her neck and shoulders to loosen her muscles.

Lorcan chucked his chin towards the bathroom. "You should wash up first." Elide simply nodded and padded towards the bathroom, still yawning. Lorcan settled down to sharpen and clean his many weapons. He was just finishing up wiping down of his hunting knives when Elide stepped out, freshly washed and dried. She put away her things and then collapsed on the bed.

"Goodnight," she mumbled, slightly muffled by the pillow.

"Goodnight, Elide," he replied, a small smile on his lips.

She was asleep shortly after lying down, splayed out on the bed, her dark hair fanning out around her fine-boned face. The firewood crackled as the flames leaped and danced in the fireplace, illuminating Elide's sleeping face. She looked so peaceful; her chest rose evenly with every breath. Lorcan silently stood up and washed up as well, and then he carefully lay on the bed beside her, trying not to disturb her. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of her breath, while his nose filled with her distinct cinnamon-and-elderberries smell, the human side of her, and… that other scent she unconsciously hid, that blue, Ironteeth witch blood. Although it was very faint, Lorcan could still sense the otherworldliness presence surrounding Elide, quiet and watchful.

Lorcan knew Elide needed more help, and as much as he hated to admit it, his own power might not be enough, if things didn't go according to plan. And a lot could go wrong, in Erawan's domain. Lord Vernon may be human, but he would still be formidable as Erawan's right hand and was not to be underestimated.

Sometime during the night, Lorcan dozed off, but he snapped awake a few hours later. That tendril of thought that he had tucked away earlier in his mind had unwound itself, and Lorcan thought of something, maybe a way that they could gain an advantage.

He needed to talk to Rowan. Lorcan gritted his teeth. He flipped himself out of bed and stalked towards the door, unleashing his magic in waves and willing the tendrils to seek out where Rowan's wind-and-ice magic had left its mark. He decided it might be faster just to ask Gavriel, even if he couldn't stand the insufferable male sometimes.

He silently stalked down to Gavriel's room and rapped his knuckles against the door twice.

"Come in," Gavriel answered. He was sitting by the fire with a book, and on the floor to the side, his weapons were neatly lain out on a sheet, cleaned and sharpened.

"Where's Whitethorn?"

"Out on patrol." Gavriel shut his book and met Lorcan's impassive gaze.

"I need to speak with him."

Gavriel's tawny eyes flashed with curiosity, but to his credit, he didn't pry. "Go into the forest. I'm sure Rowan will find you."

Lorcan pivoted on his heel to leave, but Gavriel said, "Wait." So he paused before the doorway.

"What's happening between you and Elide?"

Lorcan expected the question, but he still stared at Gavriel somewhat blankly.

"I don't know," he admitted tensely.

Gavriel just gave him a half-smile and picked up his book again. "Better than nothing at all."

Lorcan inclined his head in acknowledgement and left. It  _was_  better than nothing at all, he supposed. At least she wasn't giving him the cold shoulder anymore. Perhaps going on this journey with her would help him make amends, prove that he could help restore and rebuild  _something_  with his powers, although maybe not directly.

He left the inn and headed straight into the forest. No doubt Rowan was perched atop a tree somewhere in solitude. Lorcan occasionally pitied Rowan, but he was more concerned about that look Rowan had on his face sometimes, the hollow, helpless look of a lost man.

The forest quieted slightly wherever he stepped; the creatures seemed to sense both the dark magic he gathered around him and his silent, stalking prowl. He continued into the forest at a brisk pace. A slight wind picked up and blew across him. Lorcan sniffed at the air, catching whiffs of pine and needles. He sensed someone in the forest monitoring him, staying more or less the same distance away from him as he continued heading deeper into the forest.

Rowan had sensed the other male's presence as soon as he had entered the forest, noticing the effect Lorcan's magic had on the plants and creatures. Lately, Rowan often retreated to his hawk form, so that he could give into his more animalistic instincts. So that he could avoid thinking and feeling, mostly hurting, so much. He had been perched atop a tree like Lorcan expected, in contemplative thought.

With his sharp hawk eyes, Rowan tracked his ex-commander as he moved through the forest, following him at a distance. He idly wondered what Lorcan could possibly want from him, and he wondered if it was about Elide. After watching for a few miles, Rowan decided he was curious enough to find out.

Lorcan was now a couple of miles away from the nearest human establishment, and he had just reached a small clearing in the forest. He moved forward a few steps, and stopped when he felt Rowan approaching, just before he saw the white-tailed hawk diving down from the treetops. In a flash, Rowan shifted back into his Fae form, his silver hair glinting in the moonlight. He stopped in front of Lorcan.

"Is Elide alright?" Rowan asked, crouching forward so that he was ready to return if needed.

Lorcan shook his head and held up his hand, palm facing forward. He ignored how hearing Rowan say Elide's name made him twinge with annoyance. "No, she's fine. This… is personal."

He paused and breathed in through his nose, trying to think of how to phrase his request properly. Usually, he tried to avoid bringing up Aelin, as it made him uncomfortable to see the burning pain in Rowan's eyes. But…

"I need to know," Lorcan started slowly, "How you taught your fire-queen- how you taught Aelin to summon her magic." That was all he said. Rowan's brows raised in surprise, but he was silent as he pieced together what Lorcan was really asking him.

"So this  _is_  about Elide. She's just not in any danger right now," Rowan fished. He knew Lorcan took the bait when Lorcan growled audibly.

Lorcan's temper and desperation flared when Rowan mentioned Elide again. He didn't want to mention their plans – not yet, anyway – but he needed Rowan to tell him what he should do. "If there were any other way… She's determined to get strong. She wants to defend herself, and others. But in her current state, she can't. I know she has magic in her blood, I can smell it, but she's the one that needs to accept it."

Rowan had an odd smile on his face, the first time Lorcan remembered seeing a genuine smile in a long while.

"What?" Thinking of Aelin, Lorcan presumed.

Rowan shook his head, shaking himself out of whatever reverie he found himself in. He rubbed his jaw absentmindedly. "Nothing. It's just that what you said is the key. Elide has to accept her magic, even if she fears it, even if she doesn't know what it means. Even if she doesn't know if she will be the same after she embraces it. And she isn't Fae, like Aelin, so…" Rowan paused, and his hardened green eyes said the rest.  _Which means she won't have to deal with shifting forms… and Settling, in the future._

Lorcan was quiet for a moment, and then said aloud, "But she must have the same sense of magic we do… She must be able to sense the well of magic dwelling within her."

Rowan shrugged. "Maybe. She seems gifted, or lucky, possibly both… Did she have magic before it was sealed?"

Lorcan clenched his jaw but replied steadily, "No, I hadn't thought to ask her. I will." He wasn't sure how he had overlooked that question, perhaps because the Adarlanian ban on magic hadn't affected him.

"Aelin was afraid of her own overpowering magic as a child, understandably… So to her, it was a relief when magic was sealed across the land. It took a long time for her to learn that the magic was hers and  _she_  was in control of it. Fear is what feeds their loss of control. If Elide had magic or even if she hasn't awakened it yet, perhaps she'll be more open to wielding it if she learns not to fear it." Rowan's eyes narrowed slightly, a challenge. "Perhaps it will depend on the proficiency of the instructor."

The wind switched direction and blew straight at Lorcan as he bared his teeth. "I know she's not a soldier," Lorcan hissed in a low, dangerous voice. He was warning Rowan not to challenge his determination towards helping Elide. "She'll need to learn quickly, if she's to save her own life. And the lives of others." His countenance must have darkened significantly when he thought of their plan to kill Vernon, because Rowan stilled, sensing that something was off.

"What's this really about, Salvaterre?" Rowan demanded, crossing his arms.

Lorcan shifted his weight, schooling his face back into an emotionless expression and cursing at himself. He knew that he wouldn't have been able to keep Elide's plan from Rowan and Gavriel for long. It wasn't like he and Elide could have just slipped out of the inn and hopped out of town without getting caught. But still, he had hoped to delay telling Rowan a little longer. He sighed resignedly.

"I've agreed to help Elide assassinate Lord Vernon. We haven't worked out all the details, but she knows it needs to be done if she wants to reclaim her lands and be of use to the Queen when the Queen returns to reclaim Terrasen. Elide wants to get stronger, so she needs magic. I've agreed to train and assist her to my best ability." Lorcan kept his tone and speech diplomatic, trying to appeal his case to Rowan, but Rowan was shaking his head from side to side before Lorcan even finished speaking.

"You're out of your gods-damned mind," Rowan stated in disbelief, his green eyes searching Lorcan's expression for any hint of falsehood. He only saw that Lorcan was telling the truth. Lorcan only shrugged.

"You're honestly mad. Let me see if I heard you correctly, because the Lorcan  _I_  used to know would never agree to a plan like this." Rowan paused, but continued when Lorcan remained silent. "You're going to accompany a  _possibly_  magical Elide back to rutting _Morath_ , where she had been locked up in the dungeons but managed to escape once, and the two of you are going to assassinate her Uncle Vernon. And then what? You're both going to waltz out of Morath unscathed? You think Erawan isn't going to find out? What's the end game here?"

Annoyance colored his tone as Lorcan snapped back, "Look, this isn't your problem. It's between me and Elide, and we'll figure it out as we go. We just need some time."

Rowan groaned, rocking back on his heels as he ran a tattooed hand through his silver hair. "You need a lot more than time, and I can tell you're not finished."

Lorcan was in too deep now, anyway, so he took a deep breath and continued, "We're splitting off from you and Gavriel for a little while. Our search has been inefficient lately, and Elide slows us down somewhat on horseback. I'm going to find a way to draw out her magic and teach her how to wield it enough for us to assassinate Vernon and get out alive. We need a week and a half." A week and a half would be generous, but still far, far too little time.

Rowan was now pacing and growling. He agreed their search had been ineffective, but ten days? With just the two of them? Even with Lorcan's power and vast experience, he knew that wasn't enough time.

"No. It's too risky," Rowan snapped.

"It's the only way. We're wasting time here; Elide could be an  _asset_. She's been through hell, and she needs to learn how to protect herself." Lorcan's magic unconsciously rolled from him in waves as he snarled. The sounds of the forest surrounding them hushed, and a sharp chill began permeating through the forest.

Then a cool breeze picked up and blew in Lorcan's direction, dispelling some of the dark mist and restoring life to the patches of grass and trees around the clearing. "Relax, Lorcan. Have you told Gavriel any of this?"

"Of course not," he snapped through gritted teeth. Nearby, a locust chirped as Lorcan forced himself to focus on his breathing, in and out.

Rowan's eyes appraised Lorcan again, and he saw no sense of hesitation, only… a kind of wild desperation. His brows furrowed in concentration for a few moments, and then he said slowly, "You'd be signing your own death sentence if you didn't believe this would work… But I don't think I need to remind you that Elide's safety would be solely your responsibility. If Aelin finds out that something happened to her beloved childhood friend…" Rowan left the thought unfinished because Lorcan could read the harsh words from his eyes.  _You won't survive the night if Elide doesn't make it back alive._

Lorcan straightened to his full, towering height. He appreciated Rowan's honesty, and as the silence stretched between them, Lorcan just lifted his face to the dark, star-lit sky and closed his eyes.

He didn't know why, but for the first time in a long time, Lorcan prayed. He apologized for being silent for so long, years, if not centuries. In the past, he had always prayed for power, craved strength. He apologized for his self-centeredness, which had driven him to be selfish and unremorseful. Now, his mind wandered to memories of his fallen comrades, to those he hadn't or couldn't save, and he beseeched the gods to take into their everlasting care those loyal soldiers who had been slain around him in battles and wars past. He muttered his forgotten apologies and prayers to the gods, and directed a prayer to Hellas himself if he were truly out there –  _Gods, the dark god who bestows power, if I can't even keep one girl, one woman safe… What's the point? What's the point of my power? What is the point of death and destruction, without an end to achieve?_

And as Lorcan stood there, his magic whirled around him like he was an eye in a hurricane, gaining mass and power and speed. He crossed his right arm over his chest, held his fist over his heart and made a vow. He swore that if Elide didn't make it through their journey and mission safe and whole, he would forfeit his immortal life. He would gladly accept the end. He also cursed Elide's killer for eternity and promised that he would pursue revenge even in the afterlife.

Lorcan would willingly give up his life if he was unable to keep his promise to Elide; in fact, he would welcome it if Aelin tried to wreath him in flames. He had seen enough of the Wyrdkeys, seen how their overwhelming power could influence Maeve to do wicked and cruel things. And even though Erilean conflicts were not of his concern, he saw how this war dragged millions of innocents into it, like Elide, who had been chained and raised like a pet for most of her life.

Maybe it was his burning will, or it was the god Hellas himself responding, but lightning-like magic now crackled across Lorcan's dark magic, branching out in all directions. The magic cracked and flashed, and the forest groaned around them as Lorcan's magic whipped the air into a frenzy. Creatures in the forest surrounding them were fleeing, their fear snapped up by the chilling wind. Rowan was waiting patiently, but he was crouched in a defensive position and had thrown up barriers.

Lorcan felt that well of magic within himself deepen and expand, as if he had discovered a new layer of power. He cautiously sank into it, exploring the depths of his increased power. A few broad trees nearby groaned before cracking and splintering into millions of pieces. In a calculated manner, Lorcan flexed his magic and it pulsed in rings around them, rolling like thunder and cracked like electricity. His mouth twisted into a wild smile as he thought about testing the new limitations of his power in Morath. He suspected that the sincerity of his promise had granted him this gift, an added bonus so that he would not fail to defend Elide.

Magic to protect, for when he finally found something, or someone, worth protecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N** : Hello again, so what'd you all think!?! Another long-ish chapter, which I have agonized and slaved over trying to figure out how to get it right and how to divide it up properly! I hope you enjoyed it ;) it's taking me a little while to set up the story and write Elide properly as I like to try to keep characters as in character as possible, so I'm working hard on the next chapter! For this chapter, I wanted to write more of Gavriel and Rowan into the story, and hopefully I'll be able to incorporate other beloved characters from the series in later chapters, but we'll see! Would love to hear what you think in the comments, I promise I'm working hard on the next chapter ;)
> 
> ~katnip


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lorcan and Elide bid goodbye to Rowan and Gavriel :)

**Lorcan**

Lorcan's eyes were still shut as Rowan watched the dark magic pulse and envelope the forest around them. He could feel the power Lorcan inherited from Hellas reverberating in his bones, a power promised a violent, burning death. Rowan had thrown his barriers up as precaution, even though he hadn't sensed any sort of threat from the other Fae male.

Rowan finally cleared his throat. "Lorcan," he growled loudly.

Lorcan's onyx eyes finally snapped open and focused on Rowan, who was looking at him strangely. He quickly reined his magic back in, the magic thrumming in his blood; the air around them seemed to hover in stillness for a breath.

"What did you do?" Rowan demanded, crossing his arms and straightening up. A cool, lazy breeze picked up and blew some life into the forest again.

Lorcan shifted his weight and said evasively, "I made a promise." Rowan's eyebrows shot up.

"And your power increased ten-fold, just like that?" Rowan asked in disbelief, his barriers still up.

Lorcan gave him a taunting smile. "Want to test me, Whitethorn?" Tendrils of his dark magic prodded at Rowan's shields, but Rowan didn't budge.

"How did you do it?" Rowan asked, ignoring the taunt. Lorcan's gaze fixed upon Rowan and he weighed his words.

"I spoke to the gods, for the first time in a long while. And I made a promise that I would… forfeit my life if I live, and Elide does not come back safe and whole." He didn't add the bit where he also cursed Elide's killer for eternity. When he uttered the promise, he had sensed delight in the ancient magic, an approval of Lorcan putting his immortal life on the line.

Rowan sucked in a breath and swore, both of his tattooed hands running through his silver hair. He rocked back on his heels, contemplating the magnitude of Lorcan's promise.

"Gods, Salvaterre, that's serious. Your immortal _rutting_ life, man. I didn't know…" _I didn't know that you were so serious about Elide,_ is what he had opened his mouth to say, but Rowan let the thought trail off. He could tell that Lorcan was still sorting through his feelings, still mentally warring with his past and the innate instinct to protect himself.

Instead, Rowan said, "If you're serious about it… I can't stop you from doing what needs to be done."

"You  _can_ stop me, you could order me to stop."

"But I won't. It's not my place. And certainly not after what you've done." Rowan was technically the future King of Terrasen, but he wasn't going to abuse his royal power. "I know we haven't been… friends, but I've known you for a long time. It's been a while since I've seen you do something for yourself."

Lorcan nodded stiffly. "Thank you… Rowan." He felt there was more to say, but he had never been a male of many words.

Rowan simply nodded back. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, rays of light stretching towards the sky, and they stood there in silence for a few moments as morning greeted them. "Let's return and tell Gavriel. I'm sure he won't object when you explain it to him."

Lorcan grumbled, but agreed. He wasn't looking forward to speaking to the other Fae male, who was irritatingly protective of Elide, although Lorcan grudgingly appreciated him for it.

Rowan shifted back into a hawk, and Lorcan headed on foot back towards the inn. They found Gavriel in his room and explained the bare-bones of Lorcan's plan. When Lorcan mentioned that he was bringing a  _maybe magical_  Elide back to Morath to assassinate her Uncle Vernon, Gavriel almost lost hold of his restraint and throttled Lorcan right then and there. Instead, he checked himself and just gaped at Rowan in disbelief. But Rowan just shook his head and motioned for him to keep listening.

Although Gavriel resisted the idea at first as well, he couldn't help but respect the enormity of Lorcan's promise and whistled lowly when Rowan mentioned how Lorcan's power had multiplied, that the well of magic within him had deepened like an abyss.

Gavriel's tawny eyes were respectful as he met Lorcan's. "I know you don't like me very much," Gavriel said frankly, "But I appreciate what you've done to keep Elide safe."

Lorcan wasn't sure what to say and stood there uncomfortably for a moment, debating whether or not to be honest. He really _was_ starting to go rutting soft.

"The other day…," he started, "Elide said something to me that really… Well, I suppose it was more of what she had done, back when she jumped in front of Fenrys on the beach." Gavriel nodded gravely; he remembered the moment well, having healed up Elide's ruined arm afterward.

"Elide… she told me that she had been willing to die for me that day, that she thought she  _was_  going to die trying to protect me. And I… I didn't say it back. I just said I would never put her in harm's way again." Silence stretched between them for a few beats, while Lorcan's jaw clenched and unclenched.

"So I made this promise. She can't know of the promise I made; I don't want her to pester me about it when she needs to focus on training." Gavriel and Rowan rolled their eyes at the same time. It was just like Lorcan to avoid revealing important information because it might cause someone pain or guilt, or because he thought it didn't matter. Rowan idly wondered whether Elide found Lorcan's self-deprecation endearing or annoying.

The three Fae males all froze when their sensitive ears picked up Elide shifting around and mumbling to herself a few rooms down. The floorboards creaked as she moved around the room, and then she opened the door to the hallway. Her cinnamon-and-elderberries scent wafted idly down the hall. Elide made her way to Gavriel's closed door, where she paused outside, unsure.

"Come in, Elide," Gavriel called softly, struggling to keep the amusement from his tone. The door slowly creaked open an inch as Elide peered in and saw three pairs of eyes staring at her. She stomped into the room, her lovely cheeks already starting to flush red.

"Are you guys talking about me? I thought we were supposed to train." She narrowed her eyes at Lorcan, trying to look intimidating and outraged, which was ruined by her yawning. Rowan and Gavriel hid their smiles and looked pointedly towards Lorcan, who was looking at her with a mix between an amused and guilty expression.

Lorcan cleared his throat and admitted, "I told them about… our plan. We'll be leaving for two weeks to carry out our mission." Everyone in the room was still staring at Lorcan while Elide just processed his statement.

Rowan's eyebrows had shot up.  _Two weeks? I thought you said one and a half._  Lorcan just bared his teeth and glared back.  _Shut up, Whitethorn._

Rowan backed down and sighed; he knew a week and a half wasn't enough anyway. Elide needed all the time she could get. Hopefully, they could keep the forces of Morath looking away…

"Two weeks? Our plan? What plan?" Elide sputtered, her eyes widening with confusion. She ran a hand through her long, dark hair nervously. Her suspicious eyes darted to each of the males' faces.

Gavriel gave Lorcan an exasperated look. "You don't have a plan?" Gavriel asked quietly. Lorcan glared at Elide, his mouth in a thin line.

"I told you, we haven't worked out all the details yet," he replied testily. For the most part, he was working it out as they went. "She agreed to offensive and defensive training last night; obviously she needs it to be an assassin. Once I assess her skills, I'll be able to formulate a better plan."

Elide looked confused and sleepy. "What am I missing?" she asked, desperately rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She could feel herself getting more and more aggravated as the Fae males glanced at each other and had a silent conversation, without her. Stupid Fae senses.

Her annoyance grew with every second, but eventually Rowan addressed Elide out loud, "Elide, you and Lorcan will discuss what your plans are. Gavriel and I will go out for supplies. We'll reconvene in an hour, and then set out on our separate ways." Elide met Lorcan's gaze and nodded. She just wanted to know what was going on.

Elide returned to their shared room with Lorcan in tow. As soon as the door shut behind him, she whirled to face him with her arms crossed.

"Explain," she demanded impatiently.

Lorcan obliged and began by telling her what he had just discussed with Rowan and Gavriel, intentionally omitting the part about his prayer and promise to Hellas. And then he brought up the training she had agreed to yesterday…

"About the training…" Lorcan sniffed at the air, at Elide's scent, and frowned. How had she managed to stay so unmistakably human for so long?

"Yes?"

"We need to talk about… magic. Did you have magic when you were growing up?" Lorcan asked, remembering his conversation with Rowan.

Elide's mouth thinned into a hard line as she considered his question. "No… I only recently found out myself, and my uncle confirmed it, about my mother's hidden bloodline… I must have been too young for her to tell me anything. I can't imagine witches were looked upon favorably back then, either."

"Manon Blackbeak, she accepted you into her coven. Maybe it won't surprise you to know that I have heard tales about her and her Thirteen. How and why did you come to know her?"

Elide shifted when she heard him mention Manon and her Thirteen. She'd forgotten that she hadn't told him about how she had come to know Manon. Back when they were still traveling with the carnival, she had purposely left out details about her relationship with the Blackbeaks because she hadn't trusted him. But a lot had happened since then.

As memories of Morath flooded into her mind, she steeled her heart as fear and hatred boiled up inside her, threatening to consume her. "Back in Morath, Vernon sent me to be Manon's maid and servant… I didn't know it then, but it was so that she would confirm his suspicions about my Blackbeak heritage. So she had her coven kept an eye on me."

As she remembered Asterin, her eyes and tone softened. "Her Second, Asterin, followed me back to Manon's room one night when I planned to escape Morath, and she told me about the blue blood running through me, and how Vernon planned to breed me _like a mare_." She ground the words out through gritted teeth. "Asterin confronted Manon about it, and Manon offered me the choice of her protection if I chose to accept my heritage. And I did."

It was one of the scariest decisions she had ever made, but she was proud of it. She had spent such a short time with the witches, yet she had learned so much even if she didn't have the claws or teeth yet. She smiled fondly at the memory of Manon calling Vernon a _little shit_.

"Good. You've got Blackbeak blood, and…" Lorcan sniffed again, focusing on that otherworldliness that clung to Elide like a second skin.

Of course Lorcan could tell, what with his Fae senses and his own magic gifted from Hellas. Elide had felt that otherworldly presence at her side for as long as she could remember, the goddess Anneith, Lady of Wise Things.

She nodded. "Yes. I mentioned before that it seems like the Goddess Anneith has taken a liking to me." Lorcan's lips twitched into a wry smile.

"Now's not the time to complain about our gifts or where they came from, even if it feels more like a curse sometimes. They've protected you for this long, after all." Lorcan's blood went slightly molten when Elide tilted her head and genuinely smiled back at him. He cleared his throat and continued.

"Well… I'm no Blackbeak, so I can't teach you shit about the ways of the witches." Lorcan's brows knitted together thoughtfully. Maybe that would come naturally, once she had accepted her magic. He was looking forward to seeing little Elide with her iron teeth and nails. "We'll focus on strength training."

"But what about magic?" She asked, slightly panicked again. How was she going to learn in such a short time?

"Relax, Elide. That will come with time. Magic depends on both your physical and mental strength, so we will train both."

"How long will it take for me to learn how to use it?" she asked, still doubtful. How would she find it? Would she go out of control?

As if he could read her thoughts, Lorcan's tone was reassuring. "I won't let anything happen to you, and I won't let  _you_ happen to anything else, if it comes to that. Trust me. I'll explain it to you when we begin." Elide could read the sincerity in his dark eyes, and she considered.

Even though she often denied being anything other than human, Elide knew that the blood of the Ironteeth witches ran within her. It was proven to her when Manon had accepted her into the Blackbeak coven, weak and frail as Elide was. She was shrewd enough to recognize her own limitations, and she saw that as she was now, she wouldn't be able to defeat her cunning and sharp-witted uncle. And, she didn't even know if the Dark Lord Erawan had given him additional powers.

She had no choice but to believe in Lorcan… and herself. She did trust his magic, after all, more than her own supposed magic, at the moment anyway. She wasn't sure what the training would entail, but if learning how to wield whatever power lay inside her would enable her to defend herself and others… Well, that was in line with her goal of helping Queen Aelin and her court. And Aelin had also been an assassin before, as Celaena Sardothien. Elide would just have to borrow some of the Queen's strength. She was determined to carry out her mission.

"Okay," she decided, "When do we start?" She was both excited and nervous at the same time.

"We ride for somewhere isolated after eating breakfast and packing up," he promised. Then he scrutinized her again, and Elide felt self-conscious.

"What?"

Lorcan gave her a lazy smile, showing his slightly elongated canines. "Bind your breasts."

She stiffened and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why?"

He only shrugged and slinked off to the bathroom. "You'll see. It won't be as painful when you train." He vanished inside to wash, and Elide took the opportunity to get dressed. She decided to heed Lorcan's advice and wrapped thin strips of sheet around her breasts, and then pulled on a white shirt and her riding leathers.

After Lorcan finished in the bathroom, they packed up their things and went downstairs to eat. Elide quickly scarfed some bread and cheese to fill her empty stomach, and emptied a bottle of cold milk to wash it all down. Rowan and Gavriel returned from the marketplace with supplies. So far, they had avoided running into any trouble in town, and hopefully they would be able to leave just as peacefully.

At the stable, Elide strapped her bags to her horse, and then patted the horse and murmured comfortingly in its ear. The horse's ear twitched, and he happily munched on the carrots Elide offered with her other hand.

Lorcan came up behind her. "Are you ready?" Rowan and Gavriel stood nearby, their faces hidden under dark cloaks.

She turned and nodded, swallowing. She hated goodbyes, however short they were. And a lot could happen in two weeks.

Gavriel's tawny eyes found hers and he spoke first, "Be safe, Elide. Don't push yourself too hard. And keep an eye on Lorcan for us." He winked at her, and Elide flushed slightly. Lorcan growled in warning under his breath.

"Thank you, Gavriel," she said, emotion coloring her voice as she stepped forward to clasp the male's tattooed hand in her own, small hands. "For everything. I promise I'll make it back safe." She wasn't sure that was a promise she could keep, but maybe if she said it out loud, it would come true. Gavriel bowed his head in acknowledgement and squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"Say hello to Aedion and Lysandra for me," she said quietly. Gavriel's beautiful face softened and held a hint of remorse as he nodded in response. He stepped back, clasping his arms behind his back.

Then, Rowan stepped in front of her and his green eyes pierced her own. She could see the concern in his eyes and the hard lines of his face as he chose his words carefully.

"Keep your eyes and ears open in Morath," he said in a low voice, his face taut with concern. She nodded emphatically. "Be careful."

"I will," she promised. She paused, and her eyes were bright and fierce when she quietly declared, "I will never give up on our Queen. We will get her back, Rowan." Rowan only nodded in gratitude as rage and sorrow and determination clouded his eyes like a winter storm.

Lorcan cleared his throat. "It's time to go." In the morning, the soldiers were still sleepy and lazy so it would be easier to sneak through any tolls without garnering suspicion.

They parted ways; Lorcan and Elide were headed towards the vast plains outside of Morath while Gavriel and Rowan would continue traveling north towards Terrasen to meet with Lysandra, Aedion, and the rest of Aelin's court.

* * *

 

**Elide**

Elide and Lorcan passed through the tolls uneventfully and rode hard north until they reached a sprawling plain, uninhabited by humans for miles around. She could barely make out the wide expanse of Oakwald forest in the distance, where she knew they would have to traverse again if they were to reach Morath.

They finally stopped near a winding stream with a patch of trees that offered some shade from the beating sun. Lorcan dismounted from his horse and Elide did so as well. She took a long drink from her water skein and loosened the hair from her tight bun, sighing in relief as the pressure on her head lessened. Elide had a headache and her arms and back were sore after riding all morning. The sun had almost reached its highest point in the sky, and she was sweating. She stretched out her legs, her arms, and her back, hissing as her joints popped and her muscles extended.

"Now what?" She asked, hands on her hips. She was dusty and already wanted a bath.

Lorcan's lips twitched. "Run."

Elide wasn't sure she heard him right. "Excuse me?"

"Run until you can't run anymore." Lorcan shrugged his shoulders. "I never said training would be fun." Elide growled, and then yelped when she felt Lorcan's black flames lick at her backside.

"You-!" she screamed and launched herself at him.

He laughed darkly. "That's the spirit." He easily twisted on his heel and sprinted away. Elide snarled with frustration, but she had no choice but to follow. She had agreed to this unique form of torture, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, alright, I was just going to end with Lorcan's POV, but I included a tidbit of Elide's chapter at the end as a teaser. There will be some physical development aka smuttiness between the two in the future, but any hot and heavy stuff will likely be saved for the end, as I want them to properly develop a healthy relationship ;) But Elide's chapters are up next and there will be a lot of action! This is the last we'll see of Rowan and Gavriel for a while in this story, so I wanted to write them off properly. Also, I don't know shit about the topography/geography of Adarlan/Fenharrow, so you'll have to forgive me as I make it up lol.
> 
> Tune in next week? :) Leave a comment if you can't wait!!! It's really encouraging to hear what you all think!
> 
> ~k


	9. Part II: The Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the update :)

**Elide**

Elide and Lorcan passed through the tolls uneventfully and rode hard north until they reached a sprawling plain, uninhabited by humans for miles around. She could barely make out the wide expanse of Oakwald forest in the distance, where she knew they would have to traverse again if they were to reach Morath.

They finally stopped near a winding stream with a patch of trees that offered some shade from the beating sun. Lorcan dismounted from his horse and Elide did so as well. She took a long drink from her canteen and loosened the hair from her tight bun, sighing in relief as the pressure on her head lessened. Elide had a headache and her arms and back were sore after riding all morning. The sun had almost reached its highest point in the sky, and she was sweating. She stretched out her legs, her arms, and her back, hissing as her joints popped and her muscles extended.

"Now what?" She asked, hands on her hips. She was dusty and already wanted a bath.

Lorcan's lips twitched. "Run."

Elide wasn't sure she heard him right. "Excuse me?"

"Run until you can't run anymore." Lorcan shrugged his shoulders. "I never said training would be fun." Elide growled, and then yelped when she felt Lorcan's black flames lick at her backside.

"You-!" she screamed and launched herself at him.

He laughed darkly. "That's the spirit." He easily twisted on his heel and sprinted away. Elide snarled with frustration, but she had no choice but to follow. She had agreed to this unique form of torture, after all.

They ran for two miles before Elide collapsed on a small patch of grass and clovers. She was retching and panting hard, but at least she could _run_. She couldn't run far, since she had been chained for most of her rutting life. Even with Lorcan's magic, her ruined ankle still barked with pain from exertion. She hissed through her teeth as she massaged the mass of scar tissue with her hands.

Lorcan eyed her scarred ankle and then the other, as if he could see those pale, twin rings under her boots and socks, a constant reminder of the shackles Elide used to wear. His magic immediately chilled the air around them, but Elide shot him a tired glare, in no mood to deal with his bullshit. Lorcan focused on controlling himself; it seemed to become more difficult to control after his magic grew.

"It's fine," she hissed, hating her stupid, ruined ankle and that it made her appear weak. "What's next?"

Lorcan had her hold pails of water with her arms stretched out to the side. He only smirked when she screamed in frustration as pain lanced down her arms the longer she held them up. Then jumping jacks, squats, push-ups, crunches, leg-ups – a full body workout.

Finally, he began teaching her the basics of self-defense, how to block, how to punch, how to predict where a punch was going, and the most effective areas, on a human at any rate, to aim for – eyes, nose, throat, gut, groin, and foot. Elide thought she was going to die from exhaustion.

"When are we stopping?" she whined, lying with her back flat on the dusty ground, her chest heaving. She was glad she had wrapped her breasts; it was much easier to move around without them bouncing around and getting in the way.

The sun was starting to set, painting the sky with hues of orange, gold, and purple. Wispy clouds lazed high above.

"Now seems like a good time to start magic training," he mused, staring at the pale, crescent moon that hung low in the sky. His dark eyes danced with amusement when Elide shot upright.

"What- what does that mean?" she asked, both curious and fearful.

"Meditation."

Elide sat up and just gaped at him, exasperated. "Meditation!?"

She was in no mood to joke around, but his immortal face was completely and utterly serious. Elide wondered if talking to the clever goddess counted as meditating.

"Close your eyes," he instructed. "Get comfortable. Focus on your breathing… Then think about what you desire most." He crossed his arms and stared authoritatively at Elide until she obeyed, crossing her legs and resting her hands on her knees. She shot Lorcan one last look of annoyance, but then her eyes fluttered shut.

Focus on what she desired most? Well, a hot meal for starters. And a bath. And _sleep_. Elide sighed; she was cranky from hunger and exhaustion, but she knew she had to take this seriously if _he_ was being serious about it.

She focused on counting her breath to one-hundred with her eyes still screwed shut. She somehow felt that Lorcan had slipped away to give her some peace, right before she finished counting.

 _What do I desire most?_ Elide thought hard. Well... She wanted to protect herself and the people she cared about. That's why she was here training, after all. And right now, she wanted to kill her Uncle Vernon herself, with her own hands, with her own _magic_... She wondered what Lorcan would think of that.

 _Lorcan_... Elide's brow furrowed. If she was being honest, she didn't _mind_ having the Fae male around, sometimes. Liked it, even. She wondered how he felt about her now. Did he feel… obligated to be around her, because of everything that had happened? Did she want him? Elide decided to just push that question far, far out of her mind until she had the time and energy to sort any feelings out.

The ground was still warm from the sun, and she was so sleepy… The soreness was starting to set deep into her muscles and her aching back. After a few minutes, Elide laid down on her side and drifted off to sleep.

Peaceful darkness enveloped her dreams, until she began dreaming of the snowy mountains of Terrasen, and of the great lake and grassy lands near Perranth. She could feel the warmth of the sun, nearly smell the pine and snow, and she yearned to run through the grass and taste the spring air.

The vision entranced her and Elide reached out; she wanted to be in that field so badly, she _needed_ to know what it felt like to be free in Terrasen, in Perranth. She felt such a deep yearning, such a consuming desire within her that something seemed to crack.

Suddenly, the sun seemed just a little too harsh and too bright. The wind had picked up, whipping her long hair around her face. Elide squinted and raised her hand to shield her eyes from the sun, but it only seemed to get brighter until she was forced to close her eyes against the blinding light.

When she felt the light's intensity lessen, Elide cautiously opened her eyes and to her astonishment, the Wise Goddess gradually shimmered into view above the great lake. Elide noticed that the goddess's reflection did not appear in the water below.

 _Oh gods... it's the clever goddess herself!_ Elide gulped and pinched herself. She blinked a few times, and slapped her hands on her cheeks, but nothing changed. The goddess smiled and watched patiently while Elide just stared, wide-eyed. What now?

The goddess Anneith lifted one arm up and beckoned Elide closer.

"Child," the voice rang out, undeterred by the wind. Elide recognized the voice that was both young and old; she had heard that voice whisper to her hundreds of times.

"Come."

And Elide stumbled forward, unsure of what was going on or how she was moving in a dream. The glorious figure pointed at something beneath her, and Elide's gaze just followed her finger.

She squinted and rubbed her eyes. Something glinted among the colorful rocks, and she continued to move towards it as if she were being tugged forward. She felt a warm light bathe her as she continued walk, gaining speed and strength. The lake was farther than it looked.

Finally, she stood before the goddess, breathing fast. She looked down at her feet and picked up what looked to be a shard of a mirror, perhaps once the corner piece of a larger mirror, since it had an iron-wrought border. There was an odd symbol intricately carved into the corner, and Elide turned it over to look at the back.

Nothing was inscribed on the back. Elide swore.

 _A broken mirror shard?!_ Elide stared at it, wondering what the goddess had thought was so special about it. She opened her mouth to ask, but when she looked up, Lady Anneith was nowhere to be seen.

"Fine," she snapped out loud at the air hovering over the lake. She sighed and used her sleeve to wipe the dirt and dust off of the mirror. Then she stared into it, willing it to activate or do whatever it was supposed to do. The goddess was obviously no fool; she had led her here for a reason. And evidently thought Elide was clever enough to figure it out on her own.

Elide sat down and continued looking into the mirror, not sure what else she was supposed to do. She looked tired; her hair was a mess and there were bags under her eyes. But even still, her face reminded her faintly of… her mother. Of Marion Lochan, even though she hadn't seen her mother in years and years.

Absentmindedly, Elide pressed her fingers to the glass and found herself hurtling through space-time.

 _Just a memory_ , an ancient voice whispered comfortingly, and Elide clung to the thought as she was deposited into an ethereal body somewhere. Her eyes adjusted and struggled to make out anything familiar in the surrounding fog.

Slowly, the grey mists began to dissipate and Elide was stunned to realize that... she was home.

She was home in Perranth, and there was her mother sitting in the rocking chair in the master bedroom, looking as whole and young and alive as she was before she died. Elide turned to look behind her at what her mother was staring at and inhaled sharply when she recognized the mirror hanging over her mother's dresser, recognized the shard she had picked up. She turned back to look into her mother's warm, brown eyes, a mirror of her own.

"Mom?" Elide whispered, nearly falling to her knees at the sight. Her hands trembled as her eyes began to fill with tears of grief and longing.

"My Elide," Marion said fondly, staring at the mirror, staring through Elide who was standing on the ornate rug in front of the mirror. "If you are watching this, if you can see me, then it must be because I've passed away and Terrasen has reached a dire state of conflict."

"I've infused this memory into the mirror with what's left of my power. You can hear me, but I'm sorry love, I can't hear or see you." Marion smiled sadly, and a strangled sob escaped from Elide's throat. "I don't have much time, so I'll get right to the point."

"By now, you may have discovered that you have Ironteeth witch blood of the Blackbeak coven, passed down maternally through generations. I didn't tell you about being a witch because… well, it never seemed like the right time, since you were so young and I wanted you to grow up in peace, as a human girl. The Blackbeak lifestyle was not something I chose, but perhaps you may find yourself in need of your witch family one day, especially if I and your father are gone. Family can be a great blessing and a great burden..." Marion's soft eyes were unfocused as she trailed off, and tears rolled down Elide's face as she sobbed silently.

Just hearing her mother's voice again was such a gift, such a treasure, and Elide listened intently, memorizing every cadence, every rise and fall of her mother's voice. She would never forget her mother's voice again.

Marion looped a stray strand of dark hair over her ear and refocused on the mirror. She took a deep breath and continued.

"Your father and I love you very, very much Elide. We wish you all the happiness in the world. I'm sorry I cannot provide you anything more, just our love and this memory to awaken your blue blood should you ever decide to accept it." Marion's eyes seemed to flicker with gold for a moment, as she smiled affectionately at Elide. Marion blew Elide a kiss in the mirror and smiled while waving goodbye. "I love you, Elide. I pray the gods and goddesses bless you, protect you, and shelter you. Goodbye, my Elide."

Grey mists started to swirl around again, clouding the vision, but Elide was shouting, "Mom! No! No! Wait!" _Wait... don't leave me again!_

"Elide, Elide!" Someone was calling her name, but she didn't care, she had to get back to that room, had to get back to her mother –

"Mom! No! Wait!"

"Elide!" Lorcan was shaking Elide, who finally lurched upright, breathing hard. He swore he could see the inner rings of her eyes flicker with gold. Tears were streaming down her face, although she didn't seem to notice at first. She was looking through him, reaching out for something over his shoulder, but he quickly glanced over his shoulder and saw nothing.

When he refocused on Elide, her eyes had returned to their normal shade of brown, and she was hastily wiping away the tears on her face. He could scent the obvious grief and sadness, but... her witch blood also seemed more potent, somehow. Lorcan's brow creased in confusion.

"What happened, Elide?" Lorcan growled, struggling to keep his aggression towards the unknown threat in check. His body curved protectively around her small, shivering frame.

Elide just stared at him. "I- I- I'm not sure," she stammered out. Her teeth were chattering, and she glanced down at her trembling fingertips. She didn't feel cold, just… odd. "I saw my mother."

Lorcan understood why Elide was so emotional, remembered that she had lost her parents when she was very young. Had it been another nightmare? Perhaps he had pushed a bit too hard for the first day.

"It's a good time to take a meal break, anyway." His growl was like midnight, and he carefully scanned her for any sign of injury. "Can you walk?"

Elide just nodded. Lorcan reached out his hand and pulled her to her feet. "Come, I found a small cave nearby."

Elide followed him numbly, still thinking about the dream, about what it meant. Lorcan led them to a small cave by a rocky outcrop; there were some animal bones littered throughout the cave, but it was otherwise unoccupied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think so far!? I promise there's more coming :) I would love to know how you guys feel about the story, I'm hitting a bit of a writer's block though with these next few chapters and would really appreciate and love some encouragement, even if it's a short note :) Thanks for sticking with me this far~
> 
> ~k


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the update :)

**Elide/Lorcan**

While she had been asleep, Lorcan had collected firewood and hunted down four rabbits. After they reached the cave he started a fire and began skinning and skewering the rabbits to roast over the flames. Elide untied her packs and rolled out her sleeping mat. Night had fallen, and innumerable stars flecked the sky. She immediately found the Lord of the North, the stag of Terrasen, shining bright so that she could always find her way home… The smell of the roasting rabbits wafted to her nose, reminding her that she was ravenous.

Lorcan almost laughed when he handed Elide the stone plate with a perfectly roasted rabbit. Her eyes were like dinner plates as she stared fixedly at the meat, waiting impatiently for it to cool enough to eat.

Elide devoured both of her rabbits unashamedly. She licked the juice from her fingers and sighed, sated and content. Lorcan was watching her from across the fire. As night fell a cool breeze picked up, a direct contrast to the beating sun earlier, and Elide was sitting right by the cave's entrance. She shivered.

"Come to this side," Lorcan suggested, his expression unreadable. He was sitting towards the back of the cave. Elide cocked her head at him, but complied wordlessly.

Oh, it _was_ warmer on this side! She let the delicious warmth of the fire lick her toes and then brought her knees to her chest. They sat there silently for a few moments as the firewood crackled and the creatures of the night rustled and chirped.

She was thinking about earlier, about when she had been meditating... She still wondered what compelled him to go on this near-suicidal mission with her. Gods, it felt like that time when they had stolen the barge and set forth for Eyllwe together... Elide pursed her lips and sighed. So much had happened since then.

Lorcan was thinking about her damned lips again, about that time they were painted blood red when she was dressed up as a fortune-teller. Gods, everything about this nearly-human woman was so distracting, he would make sure to take his time learning and appreciating every, fucking –

"Did you ever have a mate?" Elide asked unexpectedly, refusing to look at his face. Her cheeks flushed as she inspected her toes closely instead.

Lorcan snapped to attention, replaying her question in his mind.

"Where did that come from?" His growl was defensive. Once again, she had caught him off-guard. He couldn't forget that those soft lips hid a razor sharp tongue. Lorcan tried not to let his mind wander back into the gutter as he trained his gaze on her.

"I- I was just wondering," she replied softly, her voice barely a whisper. Lorcan wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a faint longing in her voice.

No one had asked him about a mate in a long, long while… And if she had asked him that question a couple of months ago, he would have snorted and simply answered, "No." It wouldn't have been a topic up for discussion.

But now… He had thought it was possible, once, lifetimes ago… Gods, when was the last time her name had even floated into his head?

Lorcan tilted his head at Elide thoughtfully, and she finally dared to peek at him through her eyelashes. She hadn't allowed herself to think about it, but seeing him now, with his face expression smoothed out... Lorcan really was handsome. She struggled to keep from blushing anymore.

"I thought it was possible, once. Her name was Arielle," he told her. Elide was startled by his straight answer.

Lorcan continued steadily, "It was hundreds of years ago, so you don't have to feel bad. We met in the Fae village where she had grown up. She was a demi-Fae, like me, half-human and half-Fae. I was in the area on a mission for Maeve, and afterwards I stopped into the local tavern for a few drinks, and she was tending the bar. I was so intrigued by her that I visited her for several months after my business in the area had concluded."

Lorcan rubbed his jaw and gauged Elide's expression, who was struggling to hide how interested she was. She was also surprised by how her heart _wrenched_ … Ah, jealousy.

"Are you sure you want to hear about this?" Lorcan asked doubtfully. He could sense her conflicting emotions.

Elide emphatically nodded yes. Even though she felt that twinge of jealousy, she knew it had all happened long before she was even born, which... didn't really make her feel any better, she supposed. But she was still curious.

"Yes, I do want to hear. I don't care how long it happened, it's still... part of your life."

Lorcan supposed he couldn't disagree, so he shrugged. "Well… The story doesn't have a happy ending, if that wasn't obvious from the start. We had been getting to know each other for... maybe seven or eight months. Honestly, we didn't do much talking most of the time. Whenever she asked me about what I did, what armies I commanded, whose House I belonged to, well... I did my best to answer evasively. I was as vague as possible, but I stupidly told her that I had been taken in by the Whitethorn House, that I had proved myself capable and climbed to rank commander." Lorcan's gestures indicated that it was, of course, all bullshit. He inhaled sharply and then exhaled.

"But then she got excited, she _demanded_ to know who I was. And I knew I had dug my own grave by refusing to tell the truth, by letting her form her own conclusions. I could see it in her eyes, she was wondering if I was actually hiding my prince or nobleman's status from her. I knew one day I would have to come clean. She eventually demanded I be honest with her, or it wasn't going to work out. And because I trusted her, because I naively thought it might not change anything, I told her the truth. That I was sworn to Queen Maeve, that I was not a Whitethorn, and that I had no lands and no riches. And she wanted nothing to do with me after that."

Lorcan tossed another piece of wood into the fire, his stone face carefully composed into a neutral mask.

Elide wasn't really sure what to say. She had never been in love before, never loved before, but she still sympathized with that pang of rejection. "Is... is she still alive?"

Lorcan snorted. "I don't give a damn about that bitch anymore. The last I ever heard was that she was engaged to some general or other a year later, after things had ended between us."

Elide didn't know why, but she edged closer to him and reached a hand out towards his face. Instinctively, he recoiled a fraction of an inch before he stopped himself, but Elide paused and dropped her arm.

Oh, no, no. He was _not_ going to let her look at him with those pitying, doe eyes.

He bared his teeth in warning, but Elide said in a rush, "It sounds like she really hurt you."

"I told you, it happened hundreds of years ago," Lorcan snapped. He didn't understand, didn't understand why the sympathy he saw in her eyes pulled on his heart. Elide studied him for a moment and then rested her chin on her knees again.

"Well, it just sounds like there hasn't been anyone else since then," she said quietly. Lorcan knew better than to mention Maeve.

"I've fucked plenty of women," he replied coolly. And immediately regretted his choice of words, especially when he saw Elide's body just seem to deflate, as if a heavy weight held her down.

"Well, you've been alive hundreds of years," she said in a small voice.

Lorcan hastily tried to rectify the situation. "But you're right. I haven't... I haven't felt the same way about anyone else since then." Elide just nodded mutely, and Lorcan felt the protective need to comfort her, somehow. He could smell the sadness on her, threatening to overwhelm her fragile heart.

Gods, he could crumble cities to ash in an instant, but he fumbled with trying to comfort a woman. He didn't know why, but his dark, broken soul couldn't bear to see this tiny slip of a woman hurt. In fact, seeing Elide safe was reassuring and soothing, at times. Lorcan growled softly under his breath and reached his arm out to tuck her against his side.

She looked up at him in surprise, one hand braced against his left leg to keep from toppling into his lap. Her cheeks flushed a lovely reddish pink as she looked up at him through her thick eyelashes.

He caught himself staring at her perfect, rosebud lips. Elide's heart lurched when she saw him drag his eyes down to her lips, catching the flashing desire in his onyx eyes.

"Elide," Lorcan said roughly, still staring at her lips. Her mouth was suddenly dry; she swallowed and licked her lips to wet them, unable to look away from his beautiful face.

"Yes," she whispered back, barely audible.

"I'm going to kiss you, so stop me if you don't want me to." Lorcan's dark eyes were burning and Elide didn't know what to say or where to look but...

But she wanted to know what would happen if she didn't stop him.

Before she could register what was really happening, Lorcan had leaned down to press his lips to hers. Her lips parted and her eyes fluttered shut as the sudden pressure on her lips made her heart skip a beat and then continue beating twice as hard. She remembered then how soft his lips were, even though his words were usually so harsh, she remembered how it had felt to kiss him.

Her hands automatically went to his face, feeling his rough skin, his cheeks, and the hard planes of his jaw.

"Lorcan," she whispered it like a question against his lips, brushing them softly with her own. She pressed a hand to his chest for balance.

"Elide," he answered, almost in a reverent tone. His other arm had snaked around her waist, pulling her into him. He didn't want to stop, and she didn't stop him.

"Is… this… okay?" Lorcan murmured, in between dropping kisses on her lips. He could smell her female arousal, and it was really affecting him; he was resisting the urge to push her down and cage her with his body.

Elide had no idea if she was melting or aflame. She was hot and cold, everything and nothing at once. But there was this sneaking, nagging voice in the back of her mind, reminding her that this male had betrayed her and her Queen. Elide tried to ignore it.

"Yes," she breathed, and Lorcan's gaze was smoldering. She flung her arms around his neck and crushed her lips to his, ignoring that voice in her head that told her to slow down and think. She didn't want to think, she wanted to _feel_. A soft moan escaped her lips, sending Lorcan slightly wild.

Lorcan growled with desire and he pulled her onto his lap. Elide could feel the rumbling in his chest as he braced the small of her back and kissed her deeply. His tongue lazily licked at her bottom lip and she shuddered, parting her lips. His tongue carefully grazed over her teeth and then he carefully nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth. He moved his lips to her ear.

"I never punished you for that little stunt with the nightgown," he whispered in her ear, nipping softly on her earlobe. _Punish!?_ Elide gasped and instinctively arched her neck back.

Her breathing was ragged, but Lorcan didn't give her any time to recover her breath as he moved to trail soft kisses along her jaw. He brushed the hair off her neck and gently grazed his teeth over the vulnerable skin of her throat, pressing a soft kiss in the hollow of her throat as she arched her neck back.

Elide was pretty sure she had forgotten how to breathe, and she was starting to see spots in front of her eyes. Of course, Lorcan had pulled away slightly, and then smirked knowingly. Of course, he could hear her racing heart and every single one of her shuddering breaths. Flushing, she tucked her head down into his chest.

Gods, Lorcan liked this. He liked that he could have this effect on her. But he didn't want her passing out on him, even if it would be flattering.

He chuckled and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Breathe, Elide."

She nodded. Stopping was a good idea; it gave her time to catch her breath, gave her time to think. "I just… need a moment."

She tried to steady her breathing as Lorcan rested his head atop hers and played with a strand of her long, brown hair. Gods, he swore this woman might be the death of him, one day. He desperately wanted to know what other sounds he could elicit from those soft lips, but if he kept going... He wasn't sure he could stop himself, and he knew she needed time, knew he wanted her to let him know when she was ready. Human lives were so short; hadn't he learned some patience in all his long years?

Elide could tell her face was still heated and she hoped she didn't look too ridiculous. She was utterly bewildered by the conflicting flood of feelings, by the yearning, but she was so exhausted from the day. She closed her eyes and swayed slightly.

"Tired? Sore?" Lorcan tilted her chin up so that he could read the exhaustion in her eyes. He needed to remember why they were here, training. Not pant after her like a dog in heat.

Elide nodded. Suddenly, she felt an icy chill wrap around her legs and sore muscles. She gasped in shock at the cold, but strangely, it felt... relieving.

"The best thing for sore muscles is an ice bath but... we don't have time for that so this is the best I can do." Lorcan shrugged, and Elide just raised her eyebrows in disbelief as her body felt icy cold on the inside, but warmth from the flames on the outside. She shivered; it felt like the ice was in her very bones.

"I'm cold," Elide snapped at Lorcan, after a few seconds. He snorted, but his brow furrowed. He had underestimated the amount of concentration it took to control the temperature of the water and blood within Elide's body. If he dropped the temperature even a little too much, she could immediately become hypothermic and nearly freeze to death.

He concentrated on tethering his magic to Elide, on honing his senses so that he could detect even a minute temperature change in her body. When he was satisfied with his control, he stood up abruptly.

"Bear it for a little while. I'll heat some water for you to wash with while the ice relaxes your muscles."

And he did, heating water in pails over the fire, and Elide felt a sense of déjà vu as she remembered that time he had done the same thing when they were traveling with the carnival troupe. She again tried to sort out her feelings, tried to separate the lust she felt from the anger and the bitterness. He had summoned Queen Maeve out of desperation to save her, he had done it for _her_ , but then Aelin sacrificed herself and was whipped and captured as a result.

And after meeting Maeve in person, Elide wondered if Lorcan had lost his rutting mind by summoning her, because there was no chance in Hellas's realm that she would _ever_ have gone with Maeve willingly. She would rather have died than assist or serve the Fae Queen in any way.

But perhaps… Perhaps it wasn't all Lorcan's fault. He had been orphaned and alone, had discovered a dark and fearful power that he was forced to master on his own. And then Maeve had found him and added him to her collection of powerful Fae males.

How could Elide be surprised? Queen Maeve got drunk off of power, and she relished taking advantage of ignorance and weaknesses. Elide wouldn't ever forgive her for what she had done to Lorcan, for what _she_ had _forced_ him to do, all these years…

Elide pressed a hand to her face and silently groaned. _Where did that even come from? I can't even face Maeve myself, how would I keep her from Lorcan?_

Gradually, the ice left her bones as Lorcan reeled his magic back. While Elide bathed, he quickly checked the perimeter of their resting site and brought back some more firewood. She mumbled goodnight to him and collapsed on her bedroll to sleep.

She idly wondered what tomorrow would bring, but drifted off to sleep before she could give it much thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how did I do?! personally, i quite like this chapter hehe, but i'm sorry if it's not perfect (got tired of looking at it)! ;) slowly but surely, Elide is progressing :) and bringing yall some heat with Lorcan too... he's like a puddle at Elide's feet!
> 
> smash that mf kudos button and leave a comment if you enjoyed this update, it really motivates me to think and update the story more often! and thank you to all my kind readers (shoutout to klw2016!) who have left nice notes and words of encouragement, i read your messages and take them all to heart :D i also made a tumblr to fangirl, catch my fleeting thoughts @oyasumi-wyrds~
> 
> ~k


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have slaved over this chapter and i hope it shows~ ;w;

Elide awoke to birds chirping and sun's warmth, beckoning her to embrace the day. She groaned and flung an arm over her bleary eyes in an attempt to block out the streaming light.

It was day two of their mission. She had about a week to learn how to kill Vernon before they set out for the Duke Perrington's wretched castle in Morath.

 _I just want to sleep,_ she moaned to herself. She rolled onto the side facing away from the light, and sighed in relief when the sunlight shining down on her suddenly disappeared. _Wait..._

Elide's eyes snapped open and her dark pupils dilated, now wide awake and alert.

Suddenly, Lorcan's infuriating face appeared in front of hers. She yelped and swung an arm at him. He just grinned and vanished. She felt his presence above her, so she rolled to her left where he had stood a moment ago and scrambled to her feet.

Lorcan had casually flipped over Elide and landed nimbly on the other side of her bedroll.

"Good morning, sunshine." Lorcan's lazy smile put his sharp canines on display. "Ready for your morning run?" He casually sank down on his haunches, as if tensed to spring.

"Ughhhh," Elide groaned, rolling her neck and stretching out the kinks in her knees and back. She ignored how his crouched stance made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "No, I'm not ready! I haven't even had any breakfast yet."

Lorcan tossed her what he had been holding - a nutrition bar, made of pressed oats and dried fruit.

Elide rolled her eyes. Better than nothing, she supposed. She hastily ate it and gulped down some water. She noticed that the ice last night had helped; her muscles still felt sore but they didn't hurt as much as they usually did when she overexerted herself.

They started off on the same routine as yesterday, running until Elide couldn't run anymore, and then doing push-ups, jumping jacks, squats, and sparring until she could barely move. She had always acted unimpressed with Lorcan before, but now she really appreciated his intense focus and his analytical mind, the critical assessments and analyses he made while he watched Elide move. Skills that had made him a formidable commander. The near constant attentiveness nearly made her blush sometimes, even though she was intensely focused on training as well.

As she practiced sparring with Lorcan, she could feel herself getting stronger and the adrenaline coursing through her body as she continued to push herself.

After a late lunch consisting of berries, bread, and jerky, it was time for meditation again. Elide had been half-dreading it, but she still sat down and closed her eyes. This time, Lorcan didn't leave. He knelt in front of her about ten feet away, giving her some space. Sweat dripped down her brow as the sun beat down on her back.

After some breathing exercises, he simply told her to think about who she was and what she hoped to accomplish with her magic. She rolled her eyes as she carefully bundled her hair atop her head, letting a deep sigh of content out as the cool breeze sweep over her neck. But Elide focused her mind on the questions he posed.

 _Who am I?_ Elide's brows knit together in deep thought. She thought of her mother and her father. She was the daughter of Marion and Cal Lochan, and her goal was the same as her mother's – to serve and protect the Queen of Terrasen, Aelin Galathynius, at all costs. That was what Elide would do with her magic.

And… _she_ was the rightful Lady of Perranth, not her repulsive uncle who betrayed and took advantage of his own brother and imprisoned her in a tower for years. Elide would use her magic to kill him unremorsefully, exacting justice as he deserved.

She no longer needed to make herself small, make herself hidden. What she needed now was… the exact opposite. She needed to make herself seen and heard, to send fear rippling through her enemies, to make herself _known_.

Her thoughts drifted to what Lorcan had noticed and brought up, last night. He had mentioned that after she woke up from her… dream, her witch blood had smelled stronger somehow. She had just nodded and said she wasn't sure why, either. She had declined to offer any further details about what had happened, since she was still struggling to process what the memory had meant herself.

But now she had some time to think… When her mother had mentioned the Blackbeak witches, any lingering doubts that Elide had about her secret heritage were completely blown away. Her mother had said that she would help awaken her blue blood, should Elide choose to accept it.

As a child, before her world had gone to shit, she had always felt a slight chill whenever she looked into her uncle's dark eyes… Even then, her mother Marion must have sensed the darkness that lay within him. Her mother must have kept the truth from her and smothered her with a human scent to protect her from Vernon. After all, Marion had somehow known that in the future Terrasen would be in trouble.

Elide took a deep breath and tried to get ahold of her own scent, grappling to understand her own body's chemistry. Her nostrils flared as she strained to heighten her senses. She was acutely aware of Lorcan's presence, or really the lack there of – Elide could sense the stillness of the space he occupied as it came in touch with his dark magic. She also faintly noticed the nearly-invisible, dome-shaped barrier he had erected around them.

She registered a change in her scent then, jolting her to attention. Not a change; rather, she was now acutely more aware of it. She could smell it in her blood, something familiar, something but not _quite_ like… Manon.

Elide's nose wrinkled; really, how had she never noticed it? She could smell her own human scent, mixed with a scent that reminded her of the wind and sun. Of the Blackbeak witches.

Somewhere in her mind it registered that she was at least making a _tiny_ bit of progress with her blue blood, but she needed to focus on her _magic._ Magic from Anneith... what sort of magic would she have, if Aelin was gifted with Mala's fire and Lorcan inherited Hellas's darkness? Why couldn't she make any progress with finding her supposed magical energy?

"Breathe," Lorcan murmured, hearing Elide's breath start to quicken in agitation. She gritted her teeth.

 _I'm trying_ , she wanted to snap. But she let the annoyance go, focusing on inhaling a steady breath in and out. She needed to _relax_ , so she could figure out what to do.

"What does your magic feel like?" she finally asked him.

Lorcan opened one eye to peer at her and deliberated for a moment. He had to be careful with overwhelming her with too much information at once, while she was still mastering how to quiet her mind.

"A well," he answered. He ran a hand through his jet-black hair, and Elide's dark eyes opened to watch him intently. "It feels like... a deep well. When I want to use my magic, I sort of drop into the well, I tunnel through the darkness until I build up enough power, and then I shape the magic with my will before unleashing it."

Elide nodded, wondering how she could access her own supposed well of magic. She recognized that meditating was supposed to help, because magic came from within. She needed to be calm and aware enough to access her magical power.

"How much magic do you have?" She wasn't even really sure how magic was quantified.

"We base it on how long it takes for us to draw up every drop of magic in a controlled manner. For me, it takes about a day. Maybe a little more," he mused. Lorcan bet it would take him longer to pull up all of his magical energy now, since he had acquired more power.

Elide was startled by his answer, a whole day!? She was still trying to wrap her mind around that when he continued.

"But you have to be careful when drawing up large amounts, because it's easier to lose control and attack everyone around you, instead of only the enemy."

And then he explained to her what burning out was, what happened when you used every last drop of your magic in an unrestrained manner. He explained it often happened to magic-users out of desperation or loss of control.

"The iron in our blood repels the magic, causing the body to burn itself up alive," he said, "That's why it is so important for magic-users to learn how to exercise control, because on its own, magic cannot distinguish between ally and foe on its own."

Elide couldn't help turning his statements over and over in her mind as they returned to meditating. Her thoughts returned to Anneith. The ancient goddess hadn't whispered anything since that memory with her mother happened.

Elide went to the safe place she always imagined in her mind and tried mentally knocking on the door she pictured there. _Hello, Lady Anneith? Hello?_

She stayed still and waited, recalling all the times she had spoken to Anneith as a child, when she had been alone in her tower. Sometimes there was a response, but usually there wasn't, unless it was urgent.

There was no response now.

It was hopeless. They sat in silence for another hour while Elide furiously concentrated on making something, anything magical happen, but her mind wasn't clear or calm enough anymore.

Lorcan eventually suggested taking a break to do some chores. The sun was slowly dropping lower in the sky, which reminded him that he needed to check the traps and go hunting if necessary.

Elide didn't disagree about doing chores; after all, she was nearly out of clean underpants. And socks. And some of her pants had gotten dusty and could use a good wash.

"I, uh, need to do some laundry myself…" Elide trailed off, and before she could think better of it, she offered somewhat hesitantly, "Do… you need anything washed?" She half-expected him to reject her, but he paused and cocked his head, considering her offer.

Now that she asked, he _did_ have a few shirts that needed washing. It had been pretty warm the last few days.

"I have a few shirts that need to be washed," he answered, watching Elide closely. A few locks of dark hair fell into his eyes.

Elide watched as he ran a hand through his dusty hair, and she nodded. "Just bring them to me and I'll wash them." She didn't know why she felt so nervous; she was obviously comfortable with doing laundry. Elide mentally smacked herself. _Get it together, Elide._

Lorcan stood up and stretched, his tawny muscles flexing. He was like a cat, Elide thought, albeit a very large one. "Let's return to the cave, then."

They jogged back to the cave, and Elide started bundling up her dirty clothes with a clean bar of soap. Lorcan came up behind her with a couple of shirts in his hands. He cleared his throat softly. Elide turned and saw he was holding a couple of black, white, and green shirts.

"Thanks for offering," he murmured quietly. She took them from him and stuffed them into her bundle, wondering why she felt like blushing.

"It's no problem, I had to do my own washing, anyway." She shrugged and smiled slightly at him, before strapping the bundle to her back. She hurried past him, picking up a stack of dirty stone pots and plates before walking out of the cave. Elide exhaled in relief when she got a little further away from camp and didn't sense him following her.

In the rippling stream nearby, Elide washed the stone plates and pots they had been using to cook and eat with. She set them aside to dry, and after unbundling the dirty laundry, she began washing and scrubbing her own clothes first. The stream water was cool against her arms, and she soon worked herself into a rhythm, humming as she worked.

Soon, she had a heap of clean but wet clothes, and she tentatively reached over to pick up one of Lorcan's green shirts. She liked when he wore green.

Elide absentmindedly lifted the shirt to her nose and inhaled deeply. She could definitely smell sweat, but his scent was also… musky and woodsy. Like a forest after a rainstorm… Her nose wrinkled as she considered… She rather liked it.

Elide was so lost in thought that she didn't notice when Lorcan walked up behind her. He had come to let her know that he had hung a clothesline for the wet clothes when she was finished, but he froze when he saw her pluck his green shirt from the pile. He watched incredulously as, instead of shoving it into the flowing stream, she lifted it to her nose and inhaled instead. Lorcan couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face or that it kind of… turned him on.

He watched as a loose strand of dark hair fell over her shoulder while she stared at the shirt.

Lorcan cleared his throat. "Is everything alright?"

Elide jumped a foot when she heard him cough and nearly toppled into the stream. In her panicked state, she shoved his shirt underwater while whipping her head around to answer him.

"Gods, fuck – Lorcan – yeah – everything's fine!" Her voice had somehow leapt up two octaves higher than normal.

 _Oh gods, did he see!? Did he see me smelling his shirt?_ She was going to die of embarrassment. Or kill him. Or both.

Lorcan was trying to hide his smile as he took in Elide's mortified expression and heard her heart rate quicken like a rabbit's. Her face continued to heat up as she realized there was no way he hadn't seen her judging by the smirk on his face. As she struggled to find words, any words, to justify her actions, Lorcan smoothly let her know he had hung up a clothesline near the cave after she was done with the laundry.

Elide nodded vehemently, her voice still high-pitched as she replied, "Yup! Almost done! Thanks!" Then she turned back to Lorcan's green shirt and scrubbed it with a vengeance. She groaned internally.

 _Mortified. I'm mortified_.

Lorcan picked up the freshly washed stone plates and pots and backed away slowly, containing the urge to laugh. He returned to the cave to continue preparing their evening meal.

After Elide finished washing Lorcan's shirts, avoiding sniffing any of them in an obvious manner, she found the clothesline that he had mentioned and hung the clothes to dry. As she neared the cave, a whiff of boiling stew wafted to her nose.

It was rabbit stew for dinner tonight. Memories resurfaced of all the times they had rabbit stew while traveling with the troupe. Elide started to make a face but quickly smoothed out her expression. She didn't complain; she was still useless at hunting after all, and Lorcan hadn't complained once about feeding her.

 _Perhaps once I get my iron teeth and nails… Once I can control my witch side, perhaps then I can emulate Manon enough to kill the defenseless, maybe snap the necks of helpless animals like Lorcan does…_ Elide mused as she ate. Lorcan could tell she was lost in thought again so he ate silently as well.

They trained in more hand-to-hand combat after dinner. Elide was slowly becoming a little faster, a little more familiar with dodging and ducking. Her once-deliberate movements began to seem more natural. She placed more confidence in her punches and kicks, keeping her knees bent and her arms out in front of her.

Occasionally, her mind drifted to her meditation session earlier that day and how it hadn't seemed like she had made any progress. Lorcan continually told her that she needed time and not to worry, but once or twice she had seen his immortal face crease with anxiety when he thought she wasn't looking. Their whole plan revolved around Elide being able to use her magic, and until Lorcan knew what form it took, he would have no idea how to counter Morath's defenses. But still, he was patient, he encouraged her…

 _What if I just don't have it in me?_ She wanted to ask. But she knew, she could just somehow _feel_ that she was different, that something stirred within her and that her bond with Anneith was not a coincidence.

Lorcan's fist passed barely a hairsbreadth from her left cheek; she felt the wind of his punch on her face and immediately skittered back a few steps. Lorcan snapped his fingers at her.

"Do I have your attention now, Lady Elide?" Lorcan drawled, smirking a bit. Elide shook her head to clear her thoughts and clenched her jaw as she sank down on her haunches, tensed in preparation. Lorcan quickly closed in on her and unleashed a particularly vicious series of punches and kicks. Elide was dodging relatively well, but he could tell she was tiring out as her returning punches and kicks were fewer and farther between.

She stepped back to take a breath after barely dodging a nasty right hook. She imagined if she had failed to dodge it and winced, glad she had been paying enough attention. She bared her teeth at him and let loose an annoyed growl. Perhaps the witch blood made her more aggressive.

Lorcan held his hands up in pacification and shrugged. "I'm sorry." His punches would have to be more careful, even though the way her witch blood pulsed set his own blood on edge. "Let's take a break."

Then he left to collect more firewood, leaving Elide to her own thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo! I'm glad you're here at the end of this chapter with me! Have you been waiting for a new chapter!? I hope you haven't felt like you've been waiting too long :) If you enjoyed the update, hit the kudos button and consider leaving a comment, i am a writing vampire that feeds off your encouragement! ;w;
> 
> ~k


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the update :) it's a bit long, so you might want to pull up a seat, make a cup of tea, etc.

Elide tried to meditate but her mind seemed to be spinning in circles. Her brain hurt, and she was physically exhausted from training. She resolved to stop thinking about magic, at least for a little while.

She sat outside in a thin shirt and pants, simply enjoying the cool night breeze and the blanket of stars across the sky.

Lorcan came up behind her and dropped a sheet over her shoulders.

"You'll catch cold," he said reproachfully, a slight frown on his granite-hewn face.

Elide gave a tiny snort, but wrapped the sheet around herself. Overprotective Fae male. "The breeze feels nice."

Lorcan didn't disagree; his body naturally produced a lot of heat so he preferred cooler weather. He silently stood next to her as they enjoyed the night breeze and whispering winds.

Elide seemed to be struggling to say something. "What if... what if I don't find my magic in time? Or it's not enough?" she finally asked, her eyes hard. She needed to know.

Lorcan crouched down beside her and lightly nudged her chin so that his onyx eyes were staring into her deep brown ones. He could see the apprehension in her guarded expression. "I know our mission isn't an easy one, and Rowan knows two weeks isn't a lot of time. But if our plan, whatever it is, doesn't work, there's no use in sacrificing ourselves when we don't know where the Queen is.

"We'll escape Morath and rendezvous with Rowan and the others. In this coming war… we are relying on other powers at play here, powers of the gods." Lorcan's eyes were burning and had a faraway look as he spoke; he despised these gods because they were unknown variables, complications in devising tactics and strategies for war.

But he didn't talk more about the gods, instead, he told her what he knew about Rowan and Aelin's magic, about how they were _carranam_ and what it meant to share magic. And he took vicious delight in revealing one of Maeve's blood-sworn secrets – that in her thousand years of life, she had never found a Fae who was her _carranam_.

Elide listened attentively, trying to glean as much as she could. Good. Maeve was powerful enough without having to worry about her being able to use another strong Fae's magical energy. All of this knowledge, she knew it was all important because Anneith's presence whispered _remember, remember, remember…_

Lorcan's lectures about magic gave her a lot to think about, even after she laid down to sleep. Although she was exhausted and her body ached, her mind anxiously raced to find the answer. She reviewed everything she learned, turning over every piece of knowledge she had gained, trying to piece information together and make connections.

She tossed and turned restlessly, hoping she wasn't disturbing Lorcan who was sleeping on the opposite side of the fire. Her thoughts idly turned to the other members of Aelin's court; she wondered whether Rowan and Gavriel had made it to Terrasen, how Aedion and Lysandra were faring, and if Manon had managed to find the lost Crochan witches. _I wonder what Manon would say to me right now, if she could see me now…_

She turned over again to peek outside the cave's entrance. She didn't know how long it had been since she had lain down, but the crescent moon was now high in the sky.

Of course Lorcan hadn't fallen asleep yet, because of her restlessness. His ears pricked up every time Elide rustled or turned over. She was making him restless, and his mind was in the gutter. They were alone out here, after all.

He wondered if he could sleep near her, alone in the wilderness, and contain his urge to bed her. Lorcan tried to be rational with himself. _Elide's a lady, she at least deserves a proper bed._

But he silently growled and swore under his breath. He wanted to feel her soft skin in his hands, feel the outline of her curves pressed against him, cup her soft breasts... And those lips… Oh, he wanted to make her full lips sing his –

He shut down those thoughts before he drove himself wild with lust. Lorcan took a few moments to calm his heart rate. He silently stood up and prowled over, but Elide was awake and alert. Hmm. Ever since her senses had heightened, Lorcan hadn't been able to sneak around her as much.

"I'm sorry, am I disturbing you?" she whispered guiltily, slowly sitting up. Her silky hair cascaded down her back, drawing his attention to her pale, white collarbone. "I just- I just can't fall asleep."

Before he could stop himself, Lorcan pulled her enticing figure towards him and pressed his lips to hers. He had been thinking about those gentle lips all day and the sounds that came from her when she wasn't so carefully composed. He remembered scenting her female arousal the previous day as he dropped precious kisses on her vulnerable throat.

"Elide, I need you," Lorcan growled softly. He pressed his lips to hers again, but Elide barely moved against him as her head spun, and she tried to pick apart his statement, tried to understand what he meant. She had been analyzing information in her mind all night, after all.

She had gathered that he had given up on finding a mate long ago so… did he need her because they were alone? Because he hadn't been with another woman in a long while? Why did he want her, when she was out here struggling with herself?

All through her life, she had been taken advantage of and had her trust in others destroyed. And he had already betrayed her once before... She needed to regain control, somehow –

Lorcan scented the fear and apprehension starting to course through her body, and he immediately stopped to read her wide, brown eyes.

"Elide, what's wrong?" He asked roughly, desperate to understand. Had he done something wrong?

"I- I-" Elide started, but she wasn't quite sure what to say. She was surprised he had responded so quickly to her change in emotions. "I don't know."

"We can… slow down." Lorcan sat on her bedroll and held her head against his chest. She could feel his strong, sure heart beating, and she closed her eyes, dazed.

"We can go as slow as you need. Or we can stop. I haven't... been myself lately," he admitted, grimacing slightly. His heart wrenched as he steeled himself for rejection.

Elide noticed how he tensed, how he strained to hold his composure. She needed to respond.

"Slow... would be nice," she said, finally. Lorcan relaxed, and so did she. Elide licked her lips and continued in a low voice. "I need to kill my uncle. I need to destroy all traces of my blood ties to Morath and Erawan, so that he can't use me. So that I can finally feel safe."

Lorcan nodded, and she could see in his eyes that he understood. They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, and she wondered if she should just say what she had been thinking about him all night.

"Lorcan," Elide whispered to get his attention.

He hummed in response. She sat up and fiddled nervously with the towel she had been using as a pillow. She swallowed and continued.

"I know you think you're a horrible, miserable person cursed by the dark god, but... you were _forced_ to carry out every single one of Maeve's commands by that awful blood bond. Rowan and Aelin... they're bonded, they're _carranam_ , and it's not like that, right?" Elide reminded him pointedly of what he had told her earlier. "I know you've done awful, cruel things... but if you had your own will, if you weren't bound to Maeve, you might have made some different choices, don't you think?"

Lorcan just stared into the distance, outside of the cave. His face was stony. "I don't know."

"Even not knowing... even if you questioned some of your actions, that makes you different from her." Her voice softened, and now it was Elide's turn to try and force him to look at her.

"You felt guilty about what happened to Aelin," she stated. Not a question. Elide leashed her own anger, or at least tried to.

"Gratitude," he said quietly, "for her sacrifice. So that Maeve didn't take you, too."

"I would go anywhere for –" Elide started to snarl before taking a steadying breath. She needed to be calm. "But you felt guilty. You _saw_ how Rowan looked, afterwards… You helped us look for her. Your _Queen_ probably would have ordered you to whip and torture Aelin if you loyally went back with her. And you _would have_."

Lorcan didn't move an inch to confirm that anything she said was true. He understood her anger then, because he had always arrogantly done what he had thought was best.

"And if that happened," Elide willed her voice not to waver, "If you had _hurt_ her, I _never_ would have forgiven you, then. Ever. Even after she was freed…" She was breathing slightly harder as her voice trailed off, and Lorcan's eyelids closed. He wasn't moving, he was so still Elide wasn't sure he was even breathing.

She noticed his every movement now, and except for some lapses in attention, she could nearly always sense if he was nearby. She knew she was hurting him now because she had seen it flash in his eyes. But this conversation had to happen; she was holding too much pain in her heart to simply just let it go, not when the cause of her anguish was standing right next to her.

Lorcan was remembering Rowan's hollow, glassy-eyed stare after Maeve disappeared with her absurdly ornate ship, and for a moment he wished Rowan had just killed him right then and there on the Stone Marshes. But he would be a coward if he refused to face Elide in this very moment; he couldn't run, not after all of the promises he had made.

He closed his eyes to process the resentment and hurt Elide directed at him. He had faced Maeve's wrath many times, like the time he and the rest of the cadre had gone to help Rowan and his fire-queen defend Mistward. But Elide… This woman in front of him now… She was brave, and strong, and cautious. She had been able to fool even him with her clever lies and stories.

What could he say? It was shameful, but he couldn't deny anything she said. He couldn't deny that he would have continued to obey Maeve, should she have allowed him to remain in her service.

"I don't know what you want me to say," he finally said. Elide just watched him, her eyes unfathomable.

"I've said my piece. Now, you say yours."

Lorcan licked his lips to wet them as he considered his words. Perhaps honesty was best.

"I am sorry, about what happened back then... I hadn't thought it through… I meant to protect you, but I ended up hurting you. I don't entirely regret it, because it kept you safe. But if you had known Celaena – Aelin – the way I had, maybe you would understand what I did a bit better." He shook his head and continued. "But I'm still keeping my promises. I've meant everything I've said, and I'll help you kill your uncle for what he did to you."

The fire had died down, and Lorcan fixed his gaze on the embers and coals. For what it was worth, Elide thought, he _had_ fought to keep the wyrd keys from Maeve, his bloodsworn master…She could tell he wasn't finished speaking so she waited.

He continued roughly, "This… My… newfound freedom… from obligations and commands… It's both terrifying and… exhilarating. It's new to me." A muscle in his jaw twitched.

Elide had to laugh at that, because she agreed. She was terrified because she had so many choices now, but having control and having responsibility over what choices she made… That was new and exhilarating.

Lorcan memorized her lighthearted laugh, hoping he would hear it again and again.

After a moment, Elide replied slowly, "Freedom… It's new to me, too. I forget that… in some ways, you were a slave. You've never known true choice in some situations… And you've been a slave for too long. We've all been slaves for too long." _Aelin too_ , she silently added. Her fierce eyes found his as she stood up from her bedroll and skipped forward out of the cave, barefoot.

"I'm not afraid to want anymore," she declared, "I want all of it, even this endless sky and this smell of dirt on the ground." She gestured to the sky and the dusty earth.

Elide spun and laughed again. "I want to walk through the pine forests of Terrasen after it has snowed and smell the pine needles. I want to return to my home in Perranth, see my people, read a few books, get a good night's sleep… and then I want to travel. I want to travel the skies and see the world." Elide's back was facing Lorcan now. She reached out as if she could touch the stars with her hand.

Lorcan had traveled the world several times over and barely felt anything. But the way Elide lit up when she talked about her home, about Terrasen… it made Lorcan's heart ache having never really known a true home. Sure, he once had his quarters in Maeve's palace and lands in Doranelle, but they had been stripped from him as easily as they had been granted, hadn't they? He watched Elide as she reached for the stars with her pale hand.

He didn't know what came over him then, but he walked over to her and clasped her small hand within his own, the other hand snaking around her waist. She turned around to look up at him, a questioning look on her face.

"What I want…" he mused. His brows furrowing as he drank in the details of Elide's face. He could stare into her eyes forever. She raised her eyebrows, anticipation dancing in her starlit eyes.

"I've already traveled the world and the seven seas; I've had my fill of glory and honor... So for a change of pace, woman, I will follow _you_ to the ends of this world and all the ones beyond," Lorcan growled with such fervor that Elide wondered if this was the same Lorcan she had known all long. He had been so cold and calculating in Oakwald Forest, yet now... She knew he was telling the truth because he kept his promises, because promises were his currency.

Elide wasn't afraid, then. She was just happy that he didn't want to leave her side and that he cared enough to see this through with her even if it was to a bitter, bloody end.

She surprised them both by kissing him fervently then.

"I will hold you to that promise, Lorcan Salvaterre," she whispered against his lips.

His mouth quirked up on one side and smirked crookedly at her. "I can't say it hasn't been interesting so far." Elide let out another breathy laugh.

Lorcan kissed the sides of her mouth gently and then her awaiting lips. Gods, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt like this with a woman; his desire to protect and please was so _compelling_.

They returned to the cave and settled beneath a thin, wool blanket on Elide's bedroll. Lorcan was lying on his back so that she was half-lying on his chest. Her eyes fluttered shut as she listened to the sound of his beating heart, and the steady beat lulled her to a sweet, dreamless sleep.

He couldn't help but think about what it meant to be so protective of this tiny, clever woman… he may be an overprotective Fae male, but he wasn't an idiot.

Lorcan shoved the flooding thoughts from his head. Not tonight. He would think about it all another time, sort out any… possible ramifications, another time.

He needed to be in this moment, right now. Elide was nearly purring; she had sighed contentedly against his warm chest. Lorcan listened to the sound of her soft, steady breath, and remembered her breathy laugh… He closed his eyes contentedly.

Lorcan and Elide fell asleep together underneath the stars, one of the few peaceful and cherished nights either of them had ever had.

* * *

Elide woke up sweating the next morning, the sun still rising in the sky. Gods, it was so hot! The blanket had been flung off long ago, but a tan, muscular arm was still slung over her – the source of the offending heat. As she wriggled out from under Lorcan's arm, she took in the dark shadows of his face, her gaze drifting to his parted lips as he breathed steadily.

 _We… we fell asleep together, didn't we?_ Elide internally groaned. It was the third day of training, of their mission. One of Lorcan's eyes opened lazily and focused on her face.

"Morning sunshine," Lorcan drawled lazily, and then yawned. He propped his head up on one arm and grinned at her like a cat.

"What?" she asked cautiously.

"I had an… interesting dream," Lorcan mused, his eyes narrowing playfully. Elide kept her expression neutral, willing herself not to blush at his gaze. "You told me I smelled nice in the dream."

Elide immediately stood up with her fists clenched, her face already beginning to flush. Her mind snapped back to the memory of her inhaling the scent of his green shirt, and she was searching again for words to say. She slowly unclenched her fist and took a quick breath.

"Well, at the very least you don't smell awful. I was trying to figure out why you… smelled slightly familiar," she said impassively, meeting his gaze even though she felt less than confident.

She swore she saw the tips of Lorcan's ears twitch slightly.

"Familiar?" he questioned, sitting up so that he could see her better, now that she was standing.

Elide wondered if it mattered, wondered if he would understand or care what he smelled like to her. "It smelled like… rain, and wood, and earth." Her nose scrunched. "It's hard to describe. Like after a rainstorm in the forests of Terrasen. A little bit like that, underneath all the sweat." She rolled her eyes for emphasis.

His expression was unreadable. He had seen how her eyes softened for a moment when she thought of Terrasen.

"Hmm. Well, another day, another run. Let's see how far you get this time." Lorcan smiled again at her, but this time his smile was feral and taunting.

She growled under her breath at him. She had just revealed something personal to him, and this was how he chose to respond? Lorcan stood up and stretched.

Then he paused and cocked his head at her. "I was in the rain a lot as a child. Do you think that has something to do with it?"

Elide snorted. Idiot. "I don't think that's how it works." But she understood he was trying to distract her from the training.

After their usual morning regimen and a light lunch, it was time for her daily meditation session. Elide was half-dreading it, but she was determined to get a hold of her magical energy.

Lorcan's onyx eyes slid to hers as they sat facing each other. "What do you fear most?"

Failure. Both of them failing and dying in their mission or worse, getting captured, tortured, and then dying and… Never seeing Terrasen again. Never seeing Aelin again. That was what Elide feared most – that she was destined to be useless and that she would die unable to help her Queen.

"Failure," Elide uttered, so miserably that it made Lorcan's own heart ache. He had to build up her confidence, but how? Rowan had said that fear was what prevented them from grasping their magic, from gaining control of it.

"Let it go, Elide, let your fears go. Magic stems from impulse and emotion. Remember your other gifts, and how strong they have made you. I believe you can find your magic." Lorcan paused.

"And trust me to protect you when you are weak, like I have always promised from when we met. I won't let us fail, Elide." Lorcan's tone was hard, but sincere.

Elide opened her eyes to meet his burning gaze as she let the words sink in. It was true; he _had_ always tried to protect her, even if some of his actions were misguided. And they were out here because he had believed in her, believed in her now… She closed her eyes again and emptied her mind so that it was a blank slate.

Lorcan listened as her heart rate slowed and her mind quieted. The grass rustled in the breeze, and he flexed the barrier he had placed around them, checking again that nothing could penetrate it.

Elide imagined she was drifting in water somewhere, in solitude and darkness. She remembered her dream about Terrasen, about how she was blinded by light. A shimmering light was above her as she floated in the deep water. What would happen if she reached for it? She decided to reach for the light, kicking her feet to propel herself towards the surface.

Somewhere outside her mind, she could feel a ring of Lorcan's magic slowly creeping up from the ground in a circle around her, and every hair on her body stood up. In her mind, she was still rising in the water, kicking for the top.

Lorcan's mouth twitched. Good. Her senses had improved, courtesy of the witch blood coursing through her. Not quite Fae-like, but good enough to alert her when danger was close. Lorcan's magic closed in slowly on her and Elide's eyes were still closed as she kicked harder. _Just a little further…_

Elide broke through the surface and her hands fumbled. Light suddenly burst out of her in a flash, clashing against the darkness. It pierced through the shadowy ring that had been circling closer to her. Her eyes snapped open, horrified. What was she doing? She threw out her hand desperately; the light was threatening to blind and burn everything, but Lorcan threw his darkness against it.

The streams of light were contained within the shielded dome Lorcan created around them.

"Relax, Elide, embrace it, don't be afraid of it," Lorcan encouraged. Elide's eyes darted around the dome, wide with terror. She could sense that she wouldn't be harmed by her own magic, but she was afraid it would break loose and hurt others.

"What do I do?" she asked helplessly. Some of the light was swirling wildly around her like a cocoon, growing in intensity, threatening to overwhelm her view of Lorcan.

"Create it. Shape it. Wield it," he suggested calmly, "You have to take control, feel where the magic comes from and grab the reins." If he was calm, that meant she didn't need to be worried, right?

Elide's brows knit together as she focused. It felt like she was in… some sort of space, some sort of well of magic, and she reached both hands out towards the light in front of her. She grasped at it, summoning all her strength and will to prove that she could control her magic. She pulled the light back in towards herself, ordering it to stop growing, ordering it to obey.

The light seemed to bend to her will and course through her flowing through her fingertips and into her arteries and veins, into her very core. She shuddered as light streamed through her body, and she marveled at her arms and hands as she saw the subtle glints of light flowing through. And she realized that perhaps, this light could slowly burn and blind all things evil and dark.

The light had dissipated around her, and Lorcan was still seated across from her. She held her hand up and tried to summon some light. Nothing happened. Her brows furrowed in confusion, but she realized she was exhausted – physically and mentally.

"Good work. It'll take some time," Lorcan said reassuringly. "Your magic has lain dormant for so long, it'll take some adjustment." He watched her to make sure she wasn't about to have a meltdown, but Elide was too tired for that.

 _I… I did it. Magic…_ Elide's head slumped to the side slightly, a little bit too heavy for her to hold up. Lorcan moved to her side and gently leaned her head against his shoulder so that she could rest. She closed her eyes. "Just… need to rest… a minute."

Lorcan was smiling slightly, triumphant. He had never seen anything like Elide's magic – light was one of the rarer elements – but he was eager to see what she could do. He supposed he wasn't surprised that her magic had manifested as light, Anneith being Hellas's consort and all... Or perhaps Elide had been gifted a spark of magic, and the magic had developed and manifested of its own accord as she matured.

Even though he had seen just a lick of her power, Lorcan could sense the slumbering power slowly stirring and awakening inside Elide. His smile widened as the odds shifted just a tiny bit in their favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! i couldn't think of a good way to split up this chapter, so i decided not to! i uhh... hope it is everything you dreamed this update would be (minus smut heh) and hope you will forgive me as i take a couple weeks to write the next few chapters out! i feel a lot more pressure to write a good story, since so many readers have left such lovely thoughts of encouragement :)
> 
> also i have decided that this short story will be split up into 3 parts, and either this chapter or the next chapter will be the end of the second part. there will be an epilogue at the end :)
> 
>  
> 
> **Part I: The Search - Chapters 1-8**  
>  **Part II: The Journey - Chapters 9-???**  
>  **Part III: The Mission**  
>  **Epilogue**
> 
>  
> 
> Leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed (DO YOU LIKE LONG CHAPTERS!?) :D Thanks for reading, as always~


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of Lorcan's perspective :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, the chapter's finally here! I didn't realize how long this chapter became, so I split it up into two parts - a bit of fluff before I sink our favorite ship into CHAOS. *hehe*

For the next few and precious days left of training, Lorcan spent much of his time sketching diagrams, plans, and ideas in the dirt, often picking Elide's brain for random details about Morath's layout. It was day seven of their mission, the first week nearly over.

Currently, he was crouched in the dirt holding a sharpened stick, in front of the cave he and Elide had made their temporary home. A map lay unfurled in front of him, the corners of the yellowing parchment held by rocks to keep the map from being carried away by the wind.

An "X" on the map marked their current location; they were situated in the expansive plains of Fenharrow, right on the border of Adarlan. In order to reach Morath, first they needed to safely bypass the soldiers guarding Adarlan's border. Then, on horseback they would make their way west towards Morath's fortress. Lorcan estimated it would take them about three days of hard riding to reach the Acanthus River.

Once they crossed the river into the dense cover of Oakwald Forest, it would take another two days or so to pick their way through the forest and reach the outskirts of the castle… And they would be defending themselves from any manner of creature that might reside in the forest. Lorcan and Elide's greatest difficulty would likely be stealth and deception as they navigated through the towering oaks.

Once they neared the castle, they would have to locate a vantage point to perform reconnaissance. From there, once he knew what they were facing, he'd decide the best course of action. He wondered how their luck would hold up, but then shook his head grimly and prepared for the worst. Like usual.

As he lowered his head to peer at the map once again, he instinctively moved to brush his hair back from his face before remembering he had cut it short. Well, Elide had also helped, with his instruction, since he couldn't cut the hair on the back of his head by himself. His dark hair was only a few inches long now, much shorter compared to the shoulder-length it had been before.

Lorcan's thoughts drifted to that moment, by the stream...

_"Do you like my hair long?" Lorcan had asked Elide, quietly. He was sitting on the grassy streambed, an arm propped up on his bent knee. Water dripped from his short, spiky hair, having just washed his head in the bubbling stream. Elide cocked her head at him, a smile dancing on her lips as she handed him the white towel she was holding._

_"Why do you ask?"_

_"No reason." Lorcan shrugged. He wasn't sure why he asked, really._

_She looked at him through her eyelashes thoughtfully. "It's your hair. I don't particularly care what you do with it. And… I think it looks good either way."_

_Lorcan's Fae ears perked at that._

_"So what you're saying is, I'm so good-looking that it doesn't matter what my hair looks like?" Raising a hand to block the sun, he smirked and squinted up at Elide's suddenly flustered expression._

_Of course, she started to blush. "That- that's not what I said. Ugh, I was just trying to be nice!" She made to storm off, but Lorcan instinctively reached for her hand. Even though she was joking, it made his chest tighten to see her turn her back on him._

_Surprised, Elide turned. He knew she really wasn't all that mad, but he still rubbed gentle circles on the back of her hand with his calloused thumb._

_"Thank you for your help," he said, smiling and inclining his head slightly. Her cheeks continued to heat, but there was nothing she could do so she lifted her chin._

_"I was being honest. Your hair does look good, long or short… And it might help us blend in better, you know, when we try to lie and bluff our way across borders and stuff." She smiled back, stepping over to block the sunlight from shining on Lorcan's face. He lowered his hand and blinked a few times, eyes adjusting. "I think… if you grow it out long again, I'd like to try braiding it."_

_Lorcan raised an eyebrow. "Braid my hair?" Elide couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face._

_"Just like, little braids, you know. I'll show you sometime, with my own hair." She smiled at the skeptical look on his face._

_Lorcan cocked his head and took a moment to appreciate Elide. The sunlight illuminated the dark chestnut strands of her hair, and a shadow fell across her face, her high cheekbones, her delicate lips. Gods, had anyone ever told her before? That she was beautiful? Elide had been locked up in a tower since she was a child with no one for company but her nursemaid, and now she was grown and strong and free…_

_She was beautiful, from every inch and mile of her pale, unblemished skin to all her scars from the chains and shackles that held her to the ground. And she deserved someone to tell her that she was beautiful, every day._

_"You're beautiful," Lorcan murmured. Elide's mouth opened in surprise, and then clamped shut as she averted her gaze. He tilted his head to try and get her to look at him._

_Lorcan never claimed to be a romantic, and truthfully, he had never done this before, but he was sure of what he said._

_"Oh! I uhh… Tha- thanks, but where did that come from?" Elide shuffled her feet and nervously looped a strand of hair behind her ear. She raised her eyes to meet his, but then quickly looked away, that rosy tint still staining her fair cheeks._

_Lorcan shrugged. "Because you are. And… I thought you should hear it." Unused to displaying any sort of affection, he felt somewhat awkward but he must've said something right because her deep brown eyes softened like chocolate melting in the sun._

A swallowtail flying overhead chirruped and called to its mate, snapping Lorcan out of his reverie; he needed to focus. Frowning, he stared at the map again, as if it could tell him something he didn't already know. Lorcan didn't like their odds, but the queen's court couldn't risk Duke Perrington and Vernon getting any stronger. He had to hope their element of surprise would hold out for long enough.

The lines on his tan forehead creased as he contemplated their situation. Lorcan recalled his conversation with Rowan – had it been just last week? – he and Rowan had both known that this mission would take longer than ten days, the initial amount of time Lorcan proposed. Rowan had doubted that they could pull it off, but he'd still allowed them two weeks. He knew that if anyone could pull it off, it would be Lorcan.

Two weeks gave Elide and Lorcan time to train, and enough time to travel safely – as safely as anyone could – into Morath.

For the past few days, Elide had been devotedly practicing how to wield her magic, and Lorcan had finally replaced combat training with weapons training the day before. Today, he continued to teach her how to wield a wickedly curved knife as well as how to dual wield the daggers Elide kept strapped to her hips. Manon had gifted them to her before dropping her off in Oakwald Forest, Elide had explained.

Lorcan had snorted and frowned at that. _Without teaching you how to use them, obviously._ He remembered how ineffectively she had held the hilt of a dagger in the past. Now, he constantly checked to make sure she was holding the knives correctly, so that she could properly defend herself instead of accidentally injuring herself.

A week wasn't enough to train Elide into a full-fledged assassin, but at least she proved to be a quick learner with her magic. At first, there had been some resistance as Elide wrested for total control over her magic. But as soon as she controlled her fear, her magical energy molded to her will, as if it had been waiting for her to reach it all along.

While Lorcan was crouched in the dirt, she was practicing her magic out on the open plains. Orbs of light spun around her, orbs that she could now make explode or flash blind her enemies, like a flash grenade. The more things she formed with her magic, the more energy it took.

Elide held up her hand and then shut it abruptly. All of the orbs that had been circling her swirled into her closed fist, illuminating it. She turned her wrist and opened her hand, palm facing upwards, and a sphere of light hovered there in her hand. Then she closed her fist again and the light winked out.

Elide's dark eyes danced with delight as a triumphant smile spread across her face.

Her magic was flexible and yielding, somewhat fluid like water. To aid her in shaping her magic, Lorcan had drawn arrows and shields in the dirt with his fingers, so she could learn their precise shape and create both weapons and shields. She often practiced creating barriers of all kinds and was able to defend direct attacks, but had difficulty adapting when Lorcan's dark magic turned to mist and demonstrated the weaknesses in her defenses.

They continued combat and strength training to build up her endurance, because as Elide quickly found out, using magic exhausted both her mental and physical strength. She slept like a rock most nights so that her body could recover the stores of magic she depleted throughout the day.

A week's worth of training had done her some good. Even her stupid, ruined ankle seemed to hurt less, either because Lorcan's magic braced it every day or because her muscles had strengthened. Or both. Although admittedly, on nights when her ruined leg barked with pain from exertion, she used the tin of salve from Doranelle that Lorcan had given her.

The sun was reaching its highest point in the sky. Elide took a break and walked back towards Lorcan, sweating from the summer heat.

"I'm hungry," she complained, pouting with her hands on her hips.

Lorcan couldn't help but think her pout was adorable. "We have some berries. And jerky." Elide's appetite had increased significantly since she was able to access her magical energy, which Lorcan had forgotten to account for. He didn't mention that their stocks were starting to get low, but he was hoping he would be able to swipe some supplies before they crossed the Acanthus. He could always hunt, but it was important to have emergency rations once they entered the forest.

They sat in the cool comfort of the cave and had a quick lunch. Elide continuously popped berries into her mouth, as if she couldn't get enough. Afterwards, when they had finished eating everything Lorcan had set out, Lorcan cleared his throat, somewhat self-conscious.

"I have something for you," Lorcan said, his expression unreadable. Elide was sitting on the dusty floor of the cave, leaning back on her hands.

"What is it?" she asked curiously, tilting her head curiously at him.

Lorcan stood up. "It's just outside; I'll get it." Elide's eyebrows raised as her eyes followed him out of the entrance.

He walked to the grove nearby to retrieve what he had been working on during the parts of the night when Elide slept, or occasionally when she had been independently practicing with her magic. Anytime he needed a break from thinking in circles, around and around, about their mission.

Returning to the cave, he stalked back to her with a feline grace, and Elide inhaled sharply as she scrambled to her feet. His eyes never left her face as he presented her with an elegantly carved, Elmwood flat bow complete with a quiver and set of arrows. Without thinking, Elide reached out her hand and marveled at how smooth the curved wood was.

"For… for me? You made this for me?" she asked softly, unable to take her eyes off of the bow. She had never seen anything like it.

Lorcan nodded, one corner of his mouth curving up slightly as he handed her the bow and the quiver of arrows. "Yes… I thought you might want to learn… Archery is a useful skill. Do you like it?"

Elide loved the Elmwood bow immediately. She had never seen one up close, let alone held one. After a moment, Elide finally tore her gaze away from the bow to look up and smile at him, genuinely smile at him. "I love it. Thank you."

Her rare, genuine smile radiated like warmth throughout his core, but what knocked the breath out of him was seeing the intense happiness that lit up her eyes. He couldn't tell for sure, but he thought he could see her fingers tremble slightly.

Lorcan cleared his throat. "You're welcome… I'm glad." Elide just shook her head at him in a bemused manner, that beautiful smile still on her face.

 _He looks so serious_ , Elide mused, _likely because he's unused to gratitude_ …

"You've changed," she noted softly. Lorcan noticed that her breath had stilled as she waited, probing for his reaction.

"Have I?" Indifference. His first line of defense, but Elide had known him long enough to see right through his tone. The smile faltered, and – there – a flash of annoyance crossed her eyes, just before she blinked and her eyes reset. Guarded, unreadable.

"Cut the bullshit, Lorcan," she declared. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but don't pretend like – like none of this matters. Like I don't matter when" – she shook the flat bow for emphasis – "you do things like this, like craft this amazingly wonderful bow and arrows. For me." Her frustrated tone was tinged with sadness towards the end.

No, no. No, this was not how it was supposed to go. He had to fix this. "I'm sorry. You're – you're right, I just didn't know what to say." He took a deep breath, his mind spinning. "I just thought… after hearing everything, well… Truthfully, I've tasted freedom, even if I was born into a life of poverty. But no one _forced_ me to swear the blood oath to Maeve. That was my decision, and mine alone." He swallowed and licked his lips to wet them.

"But you… you were locked up in a tower, like a canary in a cage." The bitter words rushed out of Lorcan's mouth. "And when I found you in Oakwald Forest, when I finally heard your story and pieced together what had happened to you… I was angry, but… I didn't care, not when we were planning to split up. I had already given up hope then, because I was a rotten, cynical bastard, and because of the way you were back then."

Elide's face heated up with shame, even though she knew he hadn't meant to insult her, and Lorcan immediately moved to cup her cheek with his hand, gently stroking along her high cheekbone with his rough, calloused thumb. He tipped her chin up so that he could look at her, really look at her, and Elide saw nothing but honesty reflected in his gaze.

He continued determinedly. "But that's not what I think anymore. Your weaknesses, whatever you think they are, are nothing in the light of your strengths. And now, now I think you are the strongest, most clever woman alive. There is nobody stronger out there than you, except perhaps… your bitch-queen comes close, and you should thank the gods for that if you want her to live." Elide couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh at that, her eyes closing. She placed her own calloused hand atop his and leaned into him.

His gravelly tone softened, like granite sanded down. "You were like… a canary, born free but destined to live life in a cage, like a pet. And even though you, the canary, had only known freedom for a little while, even though you had only experienced a small taste of life… As soon as the cage was unlocked, you didn't hesitate to fly even though you had never flown before…" Elide's hand squeezed around his as she heard the wonder and admiration in his voice. "No, Elide, you flew as if you would rather _die_ than go back. And I know now that you would, that you would rather die than be locked up again."

"I won't let _anyone_ lock you up again, Elide. I won't let _anyone_ hurt you," Lorcan vowed, with the promise and threat of death lacing his voice. He flexed his restless magic which whined and yearned for death and destruction.

Elide felt his dark magic pulse, and her own magic seemed to respond in kind, stirring inside of her, alert and watchful. She decided to change the subject before Lorcan accidentally turned everything around them to black ash.

She wiggled the bow she was still holding, drawing his attention back to it. "So… is this just for show, or were you planning to teach me how to use it?" A hint of a smile played at her lips.

Lorcan saw the excitement in her eyes as she fingered the soft feathers attached to an arrow shaft. He grinned back. "We can start now."

They returned to the small grove of trees where Lorcan had been stashing the bow, and he carved markings into some of the tree trunks for target practice. He taught Elide the basics of archery; how to stand, how to hold the bow and nock an arrow, and how to aim down the shaft and fire. Occasionally, he corrected her stance or nudged her elbow as she practiced loosing arrows.

It was infuriating at first; none of Elide's arrows came close to hitting their mark, but gradually, she learned how much pressure it took to fire an arrow a certain distance.

She continued practicing into the afternoon, until her fingers were raw and starting to blister from rubbing against the wooden arrow shafts. Finally, Elide lowered the bow after successfully hitting a target with four out of five arrows.

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about," she began hesitantly.

Lorcan stepped towards her, concerned, and ran a hand through his hair. "Tell me."

"I've been thinking about it… About my time in Morath. Uncle Vernon… he said some things about me." Elide swallowed as she fought against the bile that rose in her throat whenever she spoke of Vernon. "He told me he wanted to use me to find out what magical powers lay dormant in his bloodline, in the Lochan family bloodline. He must have some powers as well, but I can't remember clearly what my father or uncle's magic were after the ban on magic hit. And my own magic hadn't manifested by then…"

Lorcan tucked that piece of information into his mind. "Don't worry. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. That will be part of the surveillance aspect of our mission – finding out as much as we can about our enemy, as quickly as possible. Perhaps he'll slip up – use his magic when we're watching." _People are more apt to reveal secrets if they don't know they're being watched_ , he thought.

Elide nodded and prayed to the gods and goddesses, to Anneith, that her own magic would be enough to overcome her uncle's. So that she could kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On another note, I am SO EXCITED for ACOWAR to come out, so I made myself work on my fic instead to distract myself :) Leave a review (or a message on my tumblr @oyasumi-wyrds) if you liked the update and can't wait for the next one~ Your comments and messages seriously help motivate me!
> 
> ~katnip


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Meryllis Flynn, a red-haired, hazel-eyed woman from the mountain range North of Terrasen. Her sister Beryl had been kidnapped from a town in Terrasen, and Meryllis has left her village to find out where her sister has been taken. Elide and Lorcan run into Meryllis in a general store, and she convinces Elide to let her travel with them, although Elide fabricates a story about attending a funeral in the Fangs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **a/n** : helloooo! how long has it been?! who's been counting!? i've had the craziest month and finally had some time to sit down and write. i'm hoping to finish this story by the time ToG6 comes out (Tower of Dawn), so i hope you stick with me~ thanks to the readers who checked up on me asking on FF.net and tumblr when the next chapter is coming out... well, it's here! and it's jam-packed (the chapter is ~4k words long) :) i can't wait for you all to get to know Meryllis... without further ado!

**Elide  
** After her impromptu archery lessons, Elide resumed combat training with Lorcan until evening rolled around, and they finally stopped to have dinner. Lorcan spit-roasted several rabbits he had trapped earlier, arranging a sort of miniature feast for their last night in the plains.

He surprised Elide by making a sort of berry paste out of the assorted berries and vegetation he had collected, which turned out to be delicious paired with the juicy rabbit meat. Even the crunchy but palatable plants Elide was sick of eating tasted agreeable tonight.

Lorcan reminded her that this was the last meal they could have so casually, sitting around a fire like they were now. Shuddering, Elide recalled the creatures in Oakwald Forest that were attracted to fires.

After dinner, Elide began packing so that she would be ready to leave when dawn broke. At the bottom of one of her packs, she found a pair of clean clothes – a long, homespun skirt and a cream-colored t-shirt. She quickly changed into them, relishing in the coolness of the clothes as they kissed her sunburned skin.

 _We're crossing Adarlan's border tomorrow,_ Elide mused as she continued packing.

She shook her head, recalling just how far she had come. From meeting Manon and the Thirteen and then spending weeks lost in Oakwald's dense woods, to finding Lorcan and traveling with that gods-awful carnival troupe, to sailing to the Stone Marshes and finding the very much alive Queen Aelin with the rest of her court.

All after escaping Morath. And now she was headed back to that dreaded place, where it had all began. No, it had begun with her Uncle. With _Vernon_.

She tried to shake the gnawing thoughts of her childhood from her mind. Thinking about the past would do no good; she had to think about the _future_ and how she could keep herself from getting caught. _So that no other girls will be brought to Morath and forgotten_ , she reminded herself. That's what she had told Lorcan, too. _So that one less girl will not have to go through what I did._

Lorcan came back into the cave with an armful of firewood. He tossed a few logs into the waning fire, which eagerly licked at the newly added logs. Elide watched him, knowing that he noticed her stare. She didn't care, he was _always_ assessing her and correcting her day after day during training, after all. He couldn't blame her for noticing things about him when they were together pretty much all the time.

She cleared her throat, and Lorcan stilled.

"I've been curious," Elide started slowly, "All of the- the other Fae males, they seem to have animal forms… What's your form?"

Lorcan closed his eyes and internally sighed. Honestly, he had been expecting her to ask him for a while… And he did intend to answer. It was just that… it was more advantageous for him to keep his animal form hidden, especially since among the demi-Fae, animal forms were somewhat unexpected due to the sporadic distribution amongst their kind. Simply put, some demi-Fae's had animal forms, and some didn't.

Also, his animalistic side was often overwhelming when he shifted, causing his desire to kill and destroy to take over. But right now, he wasn't angry, or desperate, or commanded to _kill_ anyone viciously…

So before her eyes, he transformed into an enormous, orange-reddish tiger with ancient, golden eyes.

Those golden eyes watched her shocked expression unblinkingly. They were so unlike his usual, onyx eyes, but yet… still Lorcan.

"You– you're a big cat!" Elide's eyes were wide, and she laughed from shock. The tiger's head tilted as if to ask her,  _what's so funny?_

"Well, Gavriel's a mountain lion–" Lorcan's tiger eyes rolled at the mention of Gavriel, which she ignored, "Rowan's a hawk, Fenrys is a… wolf, and you're a tiger. I guess it all makes sense, since you're all predators." She ticked their names off her fingers, and since she didn't know Vaughn or Connall, it made sense that they weren't included. Lorcan approximated a shrug, ruffling his fur slightly.

"I've never seen a tiger before," Elide mused out loud, subconsciously reaching a hand out towards his fur. Lorcan padded over to her on four giant paws, and to her surprise, he leaned into her touch. She marveled at the beautiful orange and black-striped fur. His fur wasn't soft like a domestic cat's, but it wasn't rough or coarse, either. She gently stroked the fur along his neck and chest.

Lorcan's tiger form let out a low, steady groan, like a cat purring. It was soft at first, but gradually the rumbling grew louder. And he seemed slightly embarrassed by it, because his eyes rolled slightly and he huffed air out of his nose.

"It's okay," she said quietly, "You can be yourself around me."

But he knew that already; it was why he had decided to shift in the first place – to show her, to answer her question…

Lorcan's eyes assessed her carefully for a moment before shutting his eyelids, continuing to make rumbling sounds as Elide scratched behind his ear and the soft fur atop his head.

"Good kitty," she joked. Lorcan snorted at that, which blew Elide's skirt up and caused her to shriek.

"Lorcan!" She exclaimed, swatting at him playfully. The tiger lithely rolled his head to avoid her hand, and she could still read the slight amusement in his eyes. She curled up beside him, letting the warmth of his tiger form envelope her. She could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest and hear his powerful breath, and Lorcan's golden eyes slid closed.

She recalled that both Rowan and Gavriel had shifted between their Fae forms without a second thought, but Lorcan hadn't shifted once in all their weeks traveling and searching for Aelin. She wondered why he had never shifted…

 _He's so guarded_ , she thought absentmindedly, _his mental walls are like a towering, stone fortress…_

Elide was still absentmindedly patting his fur, and she smiled at his tiger form, whose eyes were still closed. They sat in companionable silence for a while.

Afterwards, they finished packing their belongings and readying for the next morning. Elide could feel the anticipation and dread building in her stomach, making her magical energy stir restlessly, and she wished they could have just stayed in the cave forever even though she knew that was a silly, errant thought.

After all, Elide Lochan was the Lady of Perranth. She was going to take back what she was owed. She was going to find her Queen. She was going to see Terrasen again. And she would not be afraid.

\- x - x - x - x - 

The next morning, Elide and Lorcan played the part of a wedded couple as they talked their way across Adarlan's border, claiming a story about visiting Lorcan's family in the Fangs as his father had fallen seriously ill and passed away.

Elide had been discrete and demure, but Lorcan sensed the confidence that oozed from her even as she lied through her pretty teeth. _She's more confident_ , he noted. _A good thing._

As soon as they passed the border patrol, they stopped by the nearest town to restock on the essentials. Even though they wore dark hooded cloaks, some of the townspeople still gaped at the warrior's hulking figure, although none of them were brave enough to approach them.

After stocking up on food at the marketplace and purchasing other items that snagged Lorcan's gaze, they wandered into a general store. The door jingled and slammed shut behind them, and Elide's eyes adjusted to the lack of sunlight, taking in the musty appearance of the shelves and the dingy lights hanging forlornly above them. At least all of the products on the shelves looked fine, although some of the shelves were sparsely stocked.

Save for the shopkeeper, there was nobody else in the store… Except for someone wearing a hood in the back corner, checking out bottled drinks on a shelf. Elide ducked her head and wandered the few aisles with Lorcan; they weren't looking for any trouble after all, just needed to get in and out of town.

As they approached the counter to pay for the wares in the basket Lorcan was holding, the hooded figure approached them. Elide glanced towards the counter, but the shopkeeper was nowhere in sight. Judging by the heavy smell of tobacco in the shop, he had probably stepped outside for a smoke.

The stranger approached them with a sure, confident gait. A woman. She had a young, pretty face with a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose and her high cheekbones. She was of similar height to Elide, and cropped, reddish-brown hair peeked out from her hood and from the collar of her jacket.

"Hey," she said easily, her light, hazel eyes glinting.

Elide paused. "Hey," she replied, scanning the woman. The hazel-eyed woman wore a dark, hooded cape and a long, tan coat underneath. She wore laced sandals, but they were fur-lined. _Fur in the summer?_ Elide's brow furrowed slightly.

The hazel-eyed woman flicked her gaze up and down, as if she were sizing Elide up as well. Then her curious eyes flickered to Lorcan, who coolly met her gaze.

"Can we help you?" Elide kept her voice polite, even-toned.

The woman chucked her chin at them and placed a hand on her hip. "You both from out of town?" She spoke with an accent that Elide had never heard before, but that she vaguely recognized as Northern. That explained the fur-lined sandals, since it was chilly in the North even during the summer.

Elide waited two heartbeats before answering. "The Fangs. We're headed back for a funeral. My father-in-law passed away from a heart attack." She gestured towards Lorcan, who nodded solemnly.

The woman glanced at Lorcan, taking in his hardened features and his towering stance, and then looked back at Elide. A shadow of a smile was on her face.

"So… I'm also headed that way. Mind if I tag along? I heard it's dangerous traveling alone out here." She raised her brows at them, expecting them to agree.

"I don't really think that's a good idea," Lorcan finally spoke. The woman's hazel eyes snapped to his face, and Lorcan stared her down.

"Why not? We're both headed that direction. I'll split from you guys once we get across the Acanthus River. I'll even throw in a couple o' coins for good luck." She winked. "All I'm asking for is some protection while I sleep. Other than that, I'll keep out of your way. How's that sound?"

Elide exchanged glances with Lorcan. _Let's hear her out,_ she said with her eyes. _Let me deal with it._ Besides, Anneith hadn't set off any alarm bells in her head. In fact, she seemed to… approve of the woman. Did that mean the stranger was honest?

The tension in Lorcan's eyes lessened. _Fine._

Elide returned her attention to the woman standing in front of her, and a door swung open somewhere in the back of the store. _The shopkeeper_ , Elide thought.

"What's your name?" Elide asked, straightening her back.

The hazel-eyed woman smiled, crow's feet wrinkling around her eyes. "Meryllis."

"Meryllis," Elide repeated, smiling back, "Nice to meet you, I'm Marion." She looked expectantly at Lorcan.

"Logan," he said gruffly. "Nice to meet you." Elide refrained from rolling her eyes at his obvious displeasure.

"Meet us out front. We'll hear you out after we pay for our stuff." Elide gestured towards the basket.

Meryllis nodded. "Gotcha." She swiped a bottled drink off the shelf and vanished out the front door.

The shopkeeper emerged from a side door, stomping his boots and mumbling to himself.  "Sorry 'bout that," he muttered at them, running a hand through his wavy, black hair. He rang them up, and Elide counted out the coins for their purchase.

"Hey, did that other lady wanna buy anything?" he rasped.

"Nope," Elide answered, declining to mention the bottle Meryllis had swiped. She dropped the coins into his large, calloused hand. He nodded and handed back her change. "Thanks."

"Yep." He coughed into his hand and waved at them as they left the shop.

Meryllis was leaning against the side of the store, drinking from the stolen bottle.

"Walk and talk," Elide instructed. Meryllis immediately fell into step alongside Elide. "If anyone asks, you're…" Elide looked her up and down and then at Lorcan. Meryllis looked to be about the same age as her, but she didn't look like she was related to either of them. She sighed. "Well, why don't you tell me why you're here?"

Meryllis smiled grimly, but her face darkened. "Well, if you're trying to think of a good cover story, we probably won't need one." _What?_ Confusion flashed across her face, and even Lorcan seemed to carefully consider her statement. "But that explanation will come with time. I guess I have no choice but to tell the truth if I'm to travel with you guys."

As they walked towards the stable where Lorcan had paid to keep their horses, Meryllis told her story.

"As you may have guessed, I'm from the North. North of Terrasen." A half-smile appeared on her face as she had confirmed Elide's suspicions. "I come from a small village in the mountain range north of Terrasen, the Tuathian Mountains." Technically, the mountains were still considered part of Terrasen, but for the most part, all of the villages were self-governed as long as they were peaceful.

 _The Tuathian Mountains?_ Elide had never been that far North, but she had heard stories about the mountain range from her nursemaid Finnula. Folklore about the Children of the North, but the lore had been nothing but children's bedtime stories for centuries.

From what she recalled, the Children were tiny, only inches tall like the Little Folk, and the legends said that they came from the Great Goddess herself. The Little Folk were made of glass, with jeweled eyes and gold-spun hair. They were shy but attracted to shiny things, even invaluable objects like rocks or fake jewels, so one could potentially trap one… If any even remained. Like the Little Folk, not much was known about them – just that they maintained the land and occasionally came to the help of those who needed it. But they had only ever been seen in the northern parts of Terrasen.

Meryllis continued, "My younger sister… She was born with ice-blue eyes and golden hair, like the color of wheat. My parents were in awe; she didn't look anything like the rest of us even with her pale white skin, and the people in the village whispered that she looked like one of the ancient Children of the North." Meryllis's eyes were guarded as she anticipated Elide's response.

Elide licked her lips to wet them. "I've heard… the folklore, about the Children of the North. My nanny used to tell me all the stories she knew at bedtime, so I know them all by heart. But that's what I've thought, up until now – that they're just bedtime stories."

Meryllis nodded, somewhat gravely. "Well, it's true. The Children of the North haven't been sighted for years now. It hasn't been… centuries, like people say, but…" She lowered her voice and stepped closer to them. "We believe they've gone into hiding. Because of the sickness that has spread across the land here, and they are magical creatures after all…"

Elide could sense the fear underlying Meryllis's words as she waited for Elide to confirm or deny.

"We're from the Fangs." Elide lowered her voice as well, letting a chill frost her words. "And we've noticed. It's true. There's a sickness coming from the mountains… From Morath." Elide smoothed her expression and carefully watched Meryllis's reaction.

A spasm of pain shot across her face, and Elide almost instinctually reached out and asked if she was okay. Instead, she slowed her steps and waited.

"My sister, Beryl…" Meryllis's voice softened. "Even though she's probably not a true… Child of the North, she inherited a beautiful and kind spirit. A free spirit. But she didn't like living out in the mountains, in the forests. She learned to hunt and trap like the rest of us, but she loved reading books and tending to the gardens and animals best."

"My parents loved her and wanted the best for her, but then she got into her head that she wanted to live in a city, learn what life was like outside of our village. She wanted to go out and see the world, see new things other than what she saw every day looking out the window. It's beautiful and peaceful out where we live, but everything is usually covered in snow," she chuckled, shaking her head.

"So one night, she snuck out on her own… I was camping out overnight on the mountain after being caught out by a snowstorm, and by the time I got back, she was already gone. My mom was throwing a fit, and my father said to just let her be, that she was of that age to rebel, but my mother was insistent that we send someone after her."

Meryllis was quiet for a few breaths. Elide could see the stable in the distance.

"I didn't know what to do, but I thought about it while my mom and dad fought. At first, I thought I agreed with my dad. Once Berry realizes how hard life is outside of the village, she'll wanna come home. But then I realized… She's not like me. She's smart and kind, but she's inherently _good_ and the world is _bad_ , at least right now. And going South is almost sure death for our people." Meryllis shuddered slightly.

Elide wondered why. Was it because their bodies were so used to the cold? Or maybe they didn't adapt well to the ways of the city and city life…? _So why are you here?_ Elide wanted to ask, but she had a feeling the answer would come soon.

Meryllis had a faraway look in her eyes, like she was in a memory. "It's not like the time when… I got so angry that I headed North for three days, as far as I could, just to see what was out there. My father warned me that it only got colder once I crossed beyond the forests at the outskirts of the village borders, and that there was nothing waiting out there for me except death. But still, I was angry. And curious. It was balls-gripping cold and scary as gods-damned Hellas himself out there, but I made it back alive! My mom had been scared half to death, shaking and sobbing in happiness, and my father just told me never to do that again or he'd kill me himself." She laughed, and Elide didn't know whether to laugh along or continue listening in mute fascination.

"But anyway, I digress… Like I said, Beryl learned to hunt and trap with the rest of us kids, so she wasn’t useless in the wild. A few weeks ago, she went South, to Terrasen. She wanted to go to Orynth, you know, the city of learning or knowledge or something. I don't know how she heard about it." Meryllis shook her head sadly. "To cut a long sob story short, I found out she was captured in some tavern or inn and taken even farther South. Sounds like they're looking for witches and magic users."

Elide nearly came to a stop. "In Terrasen?" Lorcan reached out and lightly placed his hand on her back.

 _Witches and magic users?_ Guilt flooded through her. How many had been taken? Hadn't she promised that no other girls would be taken? Was she doing too little, too late? Elide tried to steady her hammering heart as she continued walking, tried not to let the guilt and anxiety and bewilderment overwhelm her.

"Yeah, Terrasen." Meryllis glanced sidelong at her. "You know something about it?"

She swallowed down her concern and her deepening guilt, and shrugged her shoulders, facing toward the stable. She would have plenty of time to feel guilty later, and it shouldn't have surprised her; her uncle was vicious and ruthless, and he bet that she would eventually return to Terrasen. To reclaim her seat as the rightful Lady of Perranth. "Nope, just seems… odd. Suspicious."

Meryllis narrowed her eyes, but looked forward as well. "Yeah. I agree… Anyway, when Berry left my dad convinced my mom and me to sit tight for at least a day or two. So we did. On the third day, we finally got a note from her, but all it said was that she was fine on her own and not to worry… And then at the end of the week, we got another note saying she finally reached civilization, but that was the last we heard of her. So I set out after we didn't hear from her for another week." She paused to take a sip of water from her canteen. "After traveling down this way, my conclusion is that Berry was taken to Morath. So it's funny that you mentioned the place before. Maybe you can tell me more about it." Her hazel eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

Lorcan tensed beside her, but Elide brushed her hand against his, warning him to relax.

Calmly, Elide asked, "You think your sister is there?"

"Where else would she be?"

Good point. Morath was definitely the evilest place around. And Elide knew what they were taking witches and female magic users for. She repressed the memories to keep the bile from rising in her throat.

They had nearly reached the stables, though… She could stall from revealing anything a bit longer, but she said something that wasn't a lie. "I'll be happy to let you know that you don't want to go there, Meryllis. It's not exactly a nice place for a vacation." Lorcan grunted his agreement.

"I know. But I have to get my sister back. It's not fair, it's just – it's just not fair, this shouldn't have happened, I mean she's only 16… She was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time…" Meryllis trailed off, but Elide wasn't sure if she was still speaking to her or simply muttering to herself.

Lorcan cleared his throat and spoke up. "We're behind schedule, so we'll have to save the chatting for later. For now, we'll ride west. I assume you have a horse of your own?" He directed his question at Meryllis.

Her agitated expression vanished, replaced with a grin. "Fortunately, she's tied up here in this stable as well." Elide honestly couldn't tell if Meryllis was telling the truth or if she was planning to steal a horse when they weren't looking. "I'll go saddle up now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **a/n** : yay or nay? well i love Meryllis so she's here to stay :) pretty please leave your thoughts in the comments/favorite or even an anon note on my tumblr ships-and-saints (previously oyasumi-wyrds), i've had a really tough month/year/life so i need motivation to finish the rest of this story...! thanks for reading, and i love and appreciate you all. truly.
> 
> ~kat


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elide, Lorcan, and Meryllis set off towards Morath :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **a/n** : hello i'm yolo publishing this chapter..! i'm exhausted and this hasn't been thoroughly edited but here you go... i'm writing and hopefully publishing a paper for my (very stressful) summer internship so i haven't had much time or motivation to do any free writing... the research paper kind of saps all the creativity out of me... i'm sorry all, but i'm doing my best! please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed, your comments never fail to make me smile!!! thank you for supporting me~ :)

**Elide**

Elide and Lorcan repacked their bags with their newly bought supplies and met Meryllis outside the stable, where she was casually feeding carrots to a spotted mare.

"Ready?" Meryllis dusted off her hands and grinned at them. Elide wondered how the red-haired woman could maintain such a sunny disposition when her younger sister had been kidnapped. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Lorcan's slight frown; evidently, he was wondering the same.

Elide nodded, and the trio set out. Lorcan frequently checked behind them to make sure they weren't being followed. As soon as they were far enough away, he cast his dark magic out like a net around them so that they would be warned if anyone dangerous was nearby. Fellow travelers, bandits, or worse…

If Meryllis noticed his invisible magic, she didn't mention it.

As they made their way westward, the dusty plains slowly melded into rolling hills with billowing green grasses.

The powerful mare Elide was riding seemed eager to be traveling again. Elide was sad that they would have to leave their horses behind at the river. She had grown attached to Nala, her secret name for the mare, often patting Nala's neck comfortingly and murmuring words of encouragement in the her ear. Sometimes, Nala's ear would twitch, like she understood what Elide was saying.

Ahead of her, Lorcan was riding shirtless, as anyone might expect on a muggy summer day. Elide caught herself admiring the tanned, honed muscles of his back as he flexed over his horse, a mottled stallion. Sometimes, Elide wondered if she was going delirious with the heat because she caught herself staring at him more and more often. And sometimes, she even imagined herself underneath or on top of him…

Elide groaned internally.  _We could literally be riding to our deaths,_ Elide reminded herself, shaking her head.

Meryllis caught her gaze then and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Elide flashed her a coy smile, but inside, she struggled to contain the irrational anger that flared towards the red-haired woman. After all, Meryllis didn't know that Lorcan and Elide weren't… really married.

It was… complicated between them, Elide decided. Her brows furrowed. Or maybe it wasn't. Lorcan seemed to be… pretty simple, underneath it all.

The humidity coupled with the heat were insufferable, but not once did Elide complain, not about the heat, or the aching in her back and legs, and certainly not about their mission. It had been her choice to go after all, and she knew she hadn't signed up for a vacation.

And… Lorcan had put his ass on the line, too. He was used to commanding armies and whatnot, yet he had essentially offered to babysit her for two weeks while training her into a fledgling assassin. Elide almost laughed aloud. It had only been a few months since her escape from Morath, and she could barely believe the events that had transpired since then.

Lorcan often glanced towards the sky, reading something in the atmosphere and clouds with his heightened senses that she couldn't. After riding for hours, they finally took a break to stretch their legs and give the horses water.

Elide massaged her ruined ankle as she leaned against a large rock. Meryllis squatted on the ground in the shade, with her water canteen lying on the ground beside her.

Lorcan simply remarked, "It's going to storm."

Elide scanned the skies as well, but she hadn't been able to sense whatever it was that warned Lorcan of an impending storm. Not yet, at least.

She knew the tell-tale signs of an imminent thunderstorm. Vanishing sunlight as the dark thunderheads rolled in, silence that spread for miles amongst the creatures of the earth, unseasonal gusts in the wind. But predicting a storm's path from this far away? Elide's senses weren't that quite honed.

"It might storm," Meryllis corrected, squinting up at the sky as well.

The look Lorcan gave her could wilt flowers. "There's a high likelihood it will storm. Is that better?"

Meryllis's mouth quirked up on one side. "Much." She didn't seem deterred by his fierce demeanor.

Elide cleared her throat and spoke hastily before Lorcan could bark back. "So, Meryllis… You're headed towards Morath right?" Lorcan shot her a warning look, but she ignored it.

Meryllis squinted up at her. "If that's where my sister is, that's where I'm headed."

Elide nodded. Meryllis would find out eventually that they were headed there as well, if she hadn't already. Elide had a feeling that this woman had good intuition.

"Not sure what to say?" Meryllis grinned wolfishly, a hand raised to block the sunlight. She definitely knew more than she was letting on. "Why don't you start with the truth?"

Damn.

"Which lie first?" Elide grinned back, crossing her arms. Meryllis stood up and faced her, dusting her hands off.

"Hmm. How about your names, to start?"

"Our names?" She immediately plastered confusion onto her face and pressed a hand to her chest. "I'm Marion. Marion Lark."

"Maybe not yours," Meryllis allowed, "But his." She chucked her chin towards Lorcan. "He paused too long before giving me his name, before. And he didn't say it very convincingly." Lorcan's withering stare was back.

"My name is Lorcan Salvaterre, you bitch." Lorcan snarled. Elide glared at him reproachfully.

"Lorcan, be nice," she ordered. He ignored her, continuing to bare his teeth slightly at the woman. Elide recognized the warning look in his eyes. Honestly, was he territorial with women too…?

Elide sighed and returned her attention to the red-haired woman standing in front of her. How much could she reveal? She had to reveal that they were going to Morath. Meryllis was headed in the same direction, so even if they pretended to split off after reaching the river, Oakwald Forest was a treacherous place to traverse alone. And Elide wouldn't abandon Meryllis there; it would make more sense to end her now and grant her a quick, merciful death instead of the death she would face in Oakwald Forest or Morath.

Plus, Elide felt responsible for what happened to Beryl – Lord Vernon Lochan must have given the order to search for witches and magic users in Terrasen. Hatred coursed through her as the memory of her uncle's cruel, smiling face rose up in her mind.

Meryllis was watching her expectantly.

Elide chose her words carefully. "I can't tell you all the details, but I can see that you've seen through some of our lies. So truthfully, we're headed for Morath as well. There's… something I must do." She omitted the plan to assassinate her uncle, and instead let Meryllis's imagination wander, let her come to her own conclusions.

Meryllis straightened and looked Elide over again with her hazel eyes, as if reassessing her.

Elide continued, turning to fully face the woman. "We'll take you to Morath. But only if you won't be a hindrance. And no more questions, about who we are. After we near the fortress, we part ways. You find your sister, and I do what I need to do." Her tone left no room for argument, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Elide was glad to see that Lorcan looked mildly impressed by her assertiveness.

Meryllis's hazel eyes narrowed, and she looked at Lorcan and then back at Elide. She crossed her arms as well, and merely replied, "Fine."

A snarl ripped from Lorcan's throat then, and he immediately positioned himself in front of Elide, shielding her with his body. Meryllis had skipped backwards a few steps, her hands up.

"Magic user," he growled, never taking his eyes off the hazel-eyed woman.  _Magic? Did his net catch it?_ Elide felt a little lost. Did magic run in their lines up in the mountains? Had the villages been unregulated?

Meryllis held her hands up innocently. "Woah, woah. No need to get angry. I was just curious."

"Curious about what?" Elide asked firmly.  _Was she dangerous?_

"About whether I'd be able to escape if you guys decided to kill me and dump my body in the river instead." She smiled wryly and looked pointedly at Lorcan, who indeed had a murderous expression on his face.

"She can use magic," Lorcan hissed. Elide rolled her eyes, even though she knew he couldn't see.

"So can we," she reminded him, "And you used your magic to protect us, back then. She probably noticed. Not everyone's an idiot, you know. She doesn't want to die, either." Elide stepped out from behind his shoulder and glared at him to  _back down_.

Lorcan glanced at her for a fraction of a second, before relaxing his stance and smoothing out his expression. "Tell us about your magic, then."

Meryllis shrugged her shoulders and inspected her cuticles. "It's more entertaining if you guess." It was clear that while she acknowledged his power, he hadn't quite earned her respect yet.

Lorcan snapped back, "How about I torture it out of you instead."

"Lorcan!" Elide exclaimed, tugging on his shirt sleeve. She was mortified by his aggressive behavior and glanced at Meryllis apologetically, who just smirked smugly. If Meryllis was intimidated, she did a good job hiding it. In fact, Elide had to admit, Lorcan's behavior was very telling that they were not who they said they were.

"It's really not worth that much effort," Meryllis drawled. Lorcan snorted.

Elide quickly jumped in. "So… your magic, it's not… truth-telling? Or, truth… discerning?" Her brow furrowed as she struggled to think of the proper term.

Meryllis smiled. "No, it's not – although, that's a good guess. If we weren't allies, I might have told you it was." She winked. "The truth-telling… well, I grew up stalking and hunting animals, and when you spend so much time around them, you kinda learn to become one yourself. I'm sure your husband there can tell you the same."

If Lorcan was surprised that she compared him to a wild beast–or that she still referred to him as Elide's husband–he didn't show it. Instead, he approximated a shrug and inclined his head in agreement. Meryllis's smile widened. Her canines were sharp, like a wolf's.

"So, it's not in the nature of animals to lie and that's how I learned. Animals don't lie 'cause they're not smart enough, but humans are. But it's unnatural for us. And most humans act unnatural when they lie." Meryllis's smile widened, and Elide nodded. She supposed that made sense.

"Anyway, my magical power… Well, I should really keep it a secret, but Lorcan's shown me a taste of his magic with that invisible net he made, so I better show you mine so he doesn't murder me in my sleep."

Lorcan merely blinked at her.

Meryllis put her left arm out to the side, palm facing up, and put her other hand on her hip. "It's true, magic still runs in some of our bloodlines up in the North, although there are much fewer of us now than there were before." Elide started to wonder why, but then she noticed a rock behind Meryllis lifting from the ground on its own and moving to hover around waist height.

"I can move objects," she said cheerfully as she zipped the rock into her hand. Her hazel eyes never moved from their faces as she tossed the rock up into the air. And at the highest point of its arc, the jagged rock hung there, suspended. Elide's eyebrow raised as she stared at the rock. "Can't move people, though."

"Impressive. What's the limit?" Lorcan asked, his eyes darting between Meryllis's face and the rock. Elide knew he was assessing how much of a threat she was, especially since she didn't seem to need to see the object to move it.

She raised her eyebrows, both hands on her hips. The rock floated behind her, and then clattered to the ground. "Oh, come on, you're going to make me divulge all my secrets? At least buy me dinner first." She winked at Elide, who swore she had imagined it.

"Tell me enough so that you'll live through this moment," Lorcan said through gritted teeth, gripping the hilt of one of his hunting knives. He hadn't missed the wink.

Meryllis huffed a sigh, but acquiesced. "We don't really get much magic training up north, so most everything I've learned is self-learned, self-taught. From what I know, the limits are physical. The heavier something is, the harder it is to move. If I try to move too much or too quickly, it gives me a massive headache, like a huge pressure in my skull. But I'm pretty strong so usually I don't have much of a problem. I just do enough to cause a distraction and escape." She shrugged and continued, "Like I said before, that's why we won't need a cover story. I'm good at distractions."

"Hmm." Lorcan stared at Meryllis for a moment, his face carefully composed, but then he turned his attention to Elide. "We should get going, Marion." He stalked off towards his horse.

She tried not to wince at the sound of her mother's name coming from his mouth once again.

As Meryllis passed beside her, she muttered in Elide's ear. "Really, he's an awful liar. Tell him he's much more useful if he keeps his mouth shut. Just claim he lost his tongue in the war or something, because he refused to give the enemy the information they wanted." Meryllis widened her eyes at Elide, who couldn't help but bark out a dark laugh.

Lorcan's Fae ears twitched.

* * *

They set out again, and Elide noticed Lorcan's posture stiffen as they advanced closer and closer to the forest. A harsh expression seemed permanently etched into his demeanor, and she could tell that every one of his senses was constantly on high alert, to protect them. To protect her.

To stave away the sheer boredom as they galloped across the rolling plains, Elide tried to practice her magic even as they traveled.

On the first night, she had explained to Meryllis that she could manipulate light and that her magical powers hadn't manifested until the ban on magic had been lifted.

_"Were your villages affected by the ban?" Elide had asked. Meryllis shook her head._

_"No. The King's ban didn't stretch that far. He didn't think that the Northern villages would be a threat. Our numbers aren't large, after all. And we mostly keep to ourselves," Meryllis replied. Elide noticed how her eyes tightened slightly when she mentioned the king._

_"Lorcan helped me find my magic… after the ban lifted. I didn't even know…" Elide inhaled through her nose, thinking of all the times she thought she was crazy for having conversations with the Goddess Anneith. "I didn't even know I was magical, didn't know that I had powers."_

_Lifting her dominant hand in the air, she formed a spark of light to demonstrate. The spark slowly floated upwards and lazily drifted around._

_Meryllis's hazel eyes followed it, and she remarked, "It's a good sign that you have light magic. Means you'll be able to keep the darkness at bay."_

Elide hoped desperately that what Meryllis said would be true. But she needed to be confident with her magic… She needed to expertly manipulate the beams of light she could create, the spheres of light that tingled at her fingertips, the threads of light she could weave… Elide would not falter. She would not yield.

After all, how difficult could it be to wipe one, single human off the face of the earth? And such a terrible one, at that. Shaking her head in frustration, she returned her attention to her magical energy, ignoring the fears that threatened to overtake her.

Elide tried to mimic the invisible net Lorcan had cast. She nudged her horse forward so that they were riding side by side, and she shouted over the wind, "Show me the net, so I can learn."

Lorcan understood and made the net between them visible; thin strands of dark, mist-like magic were coiled and crisscrossed so that the threads would snag if another being was near or if it caught someone else's magic.

Elide's brow furrowed as she concentrated and spread a net above them. But her magical threads of light were not discrete, not invisible like Lorcan's wispy. The cords of her net were visible strands of light woven together.

Elide frowned at her net as her horse thundered on across the plains. Sweat beaded along her forehead as she concentrated on pulling the strands thinner and thinner, stripping away the cords until the width of the threads was like spidersilk. The threads glinted into the sunlight, but at least the net didn't glow so obviously anymore. She smiled, satisfied. Even Lorcan nodded approvingly, a shadow of a smile on his lips.

The three of them rode on, westward towards the Acanthus River. Like Lorcan had estimated, it took three days to ride across the endless plains of Adarlan and two nights of camping out inconspicuously and eating dried rations, since a fire would draw notice.

Finally, the river was in sight. Finally, Elide could nearly smell and hear the roar of the Acanthus. They were much closer to Morath than when they had emerged from the forest all those weeks ago, since she had traipsed north towards Terrasen for weeks before she ran into Lorcan.

But now, she was here of her own free will. They would find a bridge to cross the river and then the towering oaks would claim them. She felt the magic slumbering deep within her stir, felt the drops of blue blood coursing through her veins…

Elide flexed her fingers and smiled grimly. Once she reached Morath, she would make sure Vernon and his ilk saw nothing but eternal darkness.

**\- Part 2: END -**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **a/n** : moving into the last and final arc of the story :) i hope inspiration strikes me like lightning~ thank you for reading!


End file.
